DIY Surprise

Several years ago my wife wanted to renovate the half bath on the main floor.  I don't recall why it never happened but I decided today I would make it happen.  My "quick" DIY projects never turn out as quickly as I would like, I don't know why I thought today would be any different.

First, I needed my children to be away.  That would make it much easier to run to the store quickly and back if needed, minimal problems right?  My in-laws were planning on taking the kids away after Easter and I would pick them up Tuesday morning.  Perfect, no kids for an interruption.  That means I could literally wake up and work on it as long as I wanted until Wifey got home.  Nothing bad, plenty of uninterrupted hours.

Before I even left work I get a text message that my in-laws were ill and couldn't watch the kids.  I should have seen it as an omen.  

I decided to proceed, it's not difficult to make a quick change in sinks right?  I inform the kids and we start the day running to the store after breakfast (easily a good 2 hours later than I anticipated).  I also need to run many additional errands now that I have the kids.  Still, I can manage, right?

This sink has been here for almost 12 years, not bad but obviously lacking something.

So I return from the store with my stuff to swap the sink out.  Removing the faucet wasn't a problem. I then tried to remove it from the wall.  I assumed there was just some caulking around the exterior to help secure it.  Boy, I was wrong.

After well over 30 minutes chipping away at the glue I gave up and tried pulling it from the wall.

DOH!

Lot's of hoping and praying this can be covered without a patch job.

Well, I got it off the wall.  And on the plus side there is no hole through the wall.  Even better the new sink can cover it up without patching anything.  Time to move on to attaching the faucet.  I realize quickly I need something from the store again, load up the kids and lets go!

I get home with the tubing to attach the water to the faucet and now I open the faucet.  Crap! I grabbed the wrong one.  There was an identical name that required a much larger sink.  So much for my surprise.  At this point in the game it's too late to get it finished before the wife will get home.  I conceded and explained to her when she got (ruining the surprise).  At least it looks better.

Kept myself out of the doghouse with the cover up.

At this point I have attached everything except the drain.  After working on this project all afternoon (which should've taken me less than 4 hours) I'm finally at a stopping point.  I give up.  I should just realize that I'm not nearly as handy as I used to be and I should just ask for help.  I wasn't able to get to painting the storm door frame but I at least have everything for that.

The finished product. A much needed improvement from the original sink.    

I need to attach it to the wall but that's a job for another day.  Nobody is going to climb on this (that I know of).

All in all at least it was nice to try and surprise the wife.  A 3 week early anniversary present.  It'll be done soon.

Fish

On my 8th birthday (around that time) I got a goldfish.  I was so excited for my very own pet.  They even got me a bowl.

Yeah, like this except no gravel and no grass, just Goldie, water and the bowl

I wanted to prove to my parents I could take care of this fish all on my own, that I was responsible and they wouldn't have to help me.  As soon as they let me I ran upstairs and filled the fishbowl with water.  Goldie was happily swimming away, I fed it some food (all part of my birthday present, wow such a wonderful gift!)

The party finished, everyone went home and I went upstairs to check on the fish.  Bedtime was approaching and I wanted to make sure it was OK.

It wasn't moving.  I was devastated.  I pulled it from the fish tank and put fresh tap water in the tank hoping it wasn't too late.  Apparently in my haste to give it fresh water I turned on the hot water (my sister pointed that out a few decades later), sealing it's fate.

Sobbing I took the fish to the front yard and buried it.  I don't know how long I cried that night, mourning the loss of Goldie (I actually don't think I named it, that's what I'm calling it now).

See the gas can? That's where Goldie is buried.

After almost 30 years I still remember the fish funeral in the front yard digging the grave with my hands, the only light I had was from the porch.  I'm pretty sure my parents were behind me, I don't recall.  Very traumatizing for a young mind.

Fast forward to today.  My 8 year old daughter and 7 year old son both wanted fish.  My wife claims the water from the fish tank will help the humidity levels in their rooms (which is great, the boy has some serious allergies).  I'm thinking it should be cheap to get things ready, only need a bowl, a tank, and some water.

We go to Petsmart, start looking for tanks and fish and I learn that one goldfish needs 10 gallons of water to grow.  Crap, the cost of the fish just increased exponentially.  I also learn that the water needs to be conditioned for a few days to make the water safe for fish.  

Wow, everything I thought I knew about caring for fish (water, food and you're good) went right out the window.  Suddenly I realize that the hot water on my fish probably didn't do it in but the fact that I used untreated tap water (and I definitely had a bowl that was too small for that fish).

I wanted to give my kids a better chance at keeping their fish alive than I had so we grab the water treatment and everything we need to keep them healthy.

We buy the fish, 5 neon tetras for the boy and 6 guppies for the girl.  We were told the transition for the fish is extremely stressful and some may die in the process.  My kids seem prepped for this and as far as I could tell the expectations that they may lose a few fish were understood.

Two days into their new environment and all seems great.  We get home the afternoon of day two and we see one of the guppies struggling.  We bring my daughter upstairs and tell her what is going to happen.  She seems to understand.  The tetras were doing fine, all 5 of them.

We leave and run some errands, come back just before bedtime.  We go upstairs to feed the fish so we can start our bedtime routine and notice the guppy is belly up.  My daughter loses it.  All I can think about is my experience almost 30 years ago.

You teared up, you know you did.

We go check on the tetras, we need to feed them anyway.  One is dead and one is missing.  Crap, 3 dead fish after only a few hours away.  My son, handling it better than the girl, also starts crying.  

One hour before bed and we have 3 dead fish, 2 sobbing kids, and 2 parents doing the best we can to help soothe them, and one happy German shepherd (oblivious to the turmoil, just glad we're together as a family).

My kids went to sleep in much better moods than when we got home.  If this is how they are when they lose fish they've owned for 2 days, I hope I can prep them when it's time to bury our cats or dog.

A day in our shoes

These thoughts came from a friend.  I'm not always able to articulate my sentiments as well as this, especially when it comes to this subject.  I agree 100% though (edited some grammar).

If patients' families walked a day in the life of a nurse, doctor, or anyone in healthcare they may be a little more understanding at what we do. 

Just because we walk by your room and are laughing or smiling does not mean we're not doing our job or we must not be busy.  

Are we not allowed to laugh or smile? We experience more than you may realize and sometimes laughing or smiling is our only way of coping with certain situations.  

We are overworked, underpaid, and short staffed most of the time. We strive to give our best to your family members. We are sometimes the only ones there for our patients, laughing with them, crying with them, or simply there just to listen. 

We see patients take their first breath and their last. We try and make the most/best out of every situation. So please before judging us for laughing at a time which may be stressful to you, stop and think what we may have just experienced. Just one day in our shoes would change your mind forever.

Oh the things I would say

I try to be a happy guy. I like to think I'm approachable, and I definitely try to be friendly to everyone.  Around people I know I can be very chatty and slaphappy.

I also like to think of myself as a very patient person.  Definitely no saint but a fuse long enough that it usually fizzles out before anything happens.

Because my fuse is fairly long I can usually tell when I'm starting to get upset and I do what I can to remove myself from the situation.

Usually I walk away, if that's not possible I'll try to make a joke of the situation (usually at work, especially when it's a patient that has pushed me over the edge).

Unlike the Incredible Hulk it doesn't have a lot to do with "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" but more I don't like how I feel.  Yes I care about your feelings to an extent but deeper than that, I care about how I will react.

Just like many other people when I become angry everything I've been thinking about that person boils to the surface.  It becomes extremely difficult to control when it does start to come out.  Everything I've wanted to say to the person that has by this point pissed me off is on the tip of my tongue.  When I get to this point I can feel my heart racing and I'm ready to go off.


I don't like this.  I don't like losing control of myself.  I would hate to say something in anger, true or not, because once it's out you can't take it back.

If I get to this point I get quiet.  I stop talking because, once again, I don't want to say anything that I will regret.  After getting quiet I remove myself from the situation and away from the person that has pushed me over the edge.

Most of the time I'm successful, occasionally I'm not.

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much.  Sometimes I wish I could just say everything that I feel needs to be said.  I do care though and if I'm going to say what's on my mind it will be a civil conversation.

Today's society seemingly encourages you to not care about other people's feelings and to an extent they are right.  If you piss someone off for being who you are or saying what you think who cares, right?  No skin off your back if they are offended.

Though I agree that this manner of thinking helps you be yourself (Fitz and the Tantrums The Walker, great song), I feel that overall it's making us insensitive.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I do care what others think about me.  In my mind when I lose my anger/temper in front of them and go off I lose their respect.  I would rather be respected.

In the case where family pushed me to my breaking point, I like to think I forgive quickly.  If I attack them verbally because they made me angry, forgiveness can become much more difficult.  I would rather not put them in that situation. I would rather remain amicable with my family (immediate, extended, and married into) so family gatherings don't get awkward on account of me.

The epitome of family gathering awkwardness