Sweet Parenting Necessities

I've been a parent for 8 years. I must admit there are a LOT of things I wish were available when I was looking for things to go with my special baby.  Here is a list for you in case you're wondering.  I put the links in case you're looking where to buy them.  I'm sure there will be more things to add to the list at some point, scrolling through I found many interesting other items for toddlers, I'm sure that'll be a post one day.  Enjoy!

NoseFrida

Baby has a cold? Suffering his (or her) first round of allergies?  What better way to clear the nose than suck it out yourself? Who knows how much suction those bulbs do? As a plus you get a salty little treat while baby gets to breathe easier!

http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/entertainment/kids/nosefrida-the-snotsucker-nasal-aspirator.asp

Windi the Gasser

From the makers of Nosefrida comes Windi the Gasser.  Every kid gets the Colic. This can be extremely frustrating. Sometimes nothing seems to help (belly rubs and moving the legs around helped our a bit but not always). What to do? Insert a straw to help get the gas out. Careful about the poop coming out!

http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/household/miscellaneous/windi-the-gaspasser-gas-colic-reliever.asp

Bowser baby carrier

Everybody needs to carry their young baby around.  This shows everybody you care while at the same time telling them touching is prohibited without permission (see the spikes, means no touch!)

https://www.etsy.com/listing/254757951/new-king-bowser-koopa-universal-baby?source=aw&awc=6220_1462243610_8cc9c6c1f9a01ca987f60c9a45eca908&utm_source=affiliate_window&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=us_location_buyer&utm_content=226441

Mustache Pacifier

Every kid needs a pacifier, especially when the boob needs a break.  Why not give the kid a mustache while you're at it?  Those milk mustaches are so cliche.

http://www.amazon.com/Mustache-Pacifier-Unique-Baby-Shower/dp/B015ESTKEY/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_12?ie=UTF8&refRID=0NG2WYKBPRBDSN9A41HM

Tactical Diaper Bag

Every new parent needs a diaper bag.  Don't get those flowery diaper bags that everyone has (yes I got one, my wife didn't give me an option).  This is the diaper bag every man (and woman) needs. 

 In addition to carrying pouches for snacks, diapers, wipes, and baby bottle storage, the changing mat has an extra pouch to hold the diaper. This becomes extremely useful when trying to change the diaper quickly.  You can wipe the mat down easily (especially useful when the baby has a blowout, and those cute little baby bottoms will most certainly cause poop to explode out the diaper).

http://www.amazon.com/Tactical-Baby-Gear-Military-Changing/dp/B01A61KFIO/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1463193687&sr=1-1&keywords=tactical+diaper+bag&refinements=p_72%3A1248867011

Zombie Doll

Every baby needs a cute little stuffed toy to cuddle when snuggling next to mommy (or daddy) isn't possible.  Something they relate to comfort when the babysitter arrives.  Why not the zombie doll?  I can just imagine Grandma watching in horror as baby starts teething on the zombies head.  Oh the joy (I mean horror).

http://www.amazon.com/Plush-Zombie-Undead-Stuffed-Toy/dp/B01AKNC6NA/ref=sr_1_24?ie=UTF8&qid=1463195094&sr=8-24&keywords=zombie+baby

Coulrophobia

Coulrophobia is the clinical word for the fear of clowns.  Somebody you know has this, even me, and it affects them on different levels.

At this point in my life it's more of a running joke.  To others the fear of clowns is so gripping they become paralyzed at the sight while others go into panic mode.

There are still several clowns out there that will always give me the creeps for various reasons.  This is my list of clowns that have terrorized my dreams in various forms (some worse than others).

6. Killer Klowns from Outer Space

This campy movie was hilarious in many ways.  It was never meant to be taken seriously (that I know of). The first time I watched it was late night on basic cable while my parents thought we were sleeping in the other room visiting my uncles.  The random bits of gory killings were funny but the part that creeped me out was the cotton candy cocoons they would wrap you to preserve you for later.  Overall these clowns were funny but still made my 11 year old skin crawl.

5. Zombieland Clown

Columbus (Jesse Eisenburg) has Coulrophobia as well.  One of his biggest fears is clowns.  In order to save his friends at the end of the movie he has to face his biggest fear, a zombie clown.  Though I was an adult when I saw this movie the face alone haunts me.

4. Twisty the clown

American Horror Story knows how to make you feel uneasy. They know how to find your fear and bring it to life. Their season Freakshow gives us Twisty. His silence, his eyes, clothing, everything about him will make you want to run and scream.  His background is sad (watch it to find out) but his actions say differently.

3. John Wayne Gacy

This man is probably where killer clowns originated.  He was a sexual predator and serial killer with at least 33 murders to his name.  When he wasn't luring boys to his home to kill he would volunteer as Pogo the Clown at fundraisers, children's parties, and parades.  The man is pure evil and is part of the reason I have clown issues.

2. Pennywise

Stephen King has a knack for creeping everybody out. Pennywise is no exception. He terrorizes a group of kids through adulthood.  His demonic presence terrified me while reading the book and for some reason I decided to watch the movie as well.

1. Poltergeist Stuffed Clown

Growing up my parents had a couch that had an opening large enough for a 7 year old to crawl under and watch movies only the adults were watching.  I wanted to see the movie all the adults were watching.  This clown coming to life and attempting to strangle the boy, laughing all the while, gave me countless nightmares.

There you have my list.  Scary clowns that give me the creeps.