Oh the things I would say

I try to be a happy guy. I like to think I'm approachable, and I definitely try to be friendly to everyone.  Around people I know I can be very chatty and slaphappy.

I also like to think of myself as a very patient person.  Definitely no saint but a fuse long enough that it usually fizzles out before anything happens.

Because my fuse is fairly long I can usually tell when I'm starting to get upset and I do what I can to remove myself from the situation.

Usually I walk away, if that's not possible I'll try to make a joke of the situation (usually at work, especially when it's a patient that has pushed me over the edge).

Unlike the Incredible Hulk it doesn't have a lot to do with "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" but more I don't like how I feel.  Yes I care about your feelings to an extent but deeper than that, I care about how I will react.

Just like many other people when I become angry everything I've been thinking about that person boils to the surface.  It becomes extremely difficult to control when it does start to come out.  Everything I've wanted to say to the person that has by this point pissed me off is on the tip of my tongue.  When I get to this point I can feel my heart racing and I'm ready to go off.


I don't like this.  I don't like losing control of myself.  I would hate to say something in anger, true or not, because once it's out you can't take it back.

If I get to this point I get quiet.  I stop talking because, once again, I don't want to say anything that I will regret.  After getting quiet I remove myself from the situation and away from the person that has pushed me over the edge.

Most of the time I'm successful, occasionally I'm not.

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much.  Sometimes I wish I could just say everything that I feel needs to be said.  I do care though and if I'm going to say what's on my mind it will be a civil conversation.

Today's society seemingly encourages you to not care about other people's feelings and to an extent they are right.  If you piss someone off for being who you are or saying what you think who cares, right?  No skin off your back if they are offended.

Though I agree that this manner of thinking helps you be yourself (Fitz and the Tantrums The Walker, great song), I feel that overall it's making us insensitive.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I do care what others think about me.  In my mind when I lose my anger/temper in front of them and go off I lose their respect.  I would rather be respected.

In the case where family pushed me to my breaking point, I like to think I forgive quickly.  If I attack them verbally because they made me angry, forgiveness can become much more difficult.  I would rather not put them in that situation. I would rather remain amicable with my family (immediate, extended, and married into) so family gatherings don't get awkward on account of me.

The epitome of family gathering awkwardness

The Wall

So we all know Trump is planning on building a wall between the US and Mexico border.  I even joked about it in a previous post (see joking with the parents).

I was watching Arrested Development the other night.  Definitely one of the best shows they took off the air, scoring a solid 89% on Metacritic and an 83% on Rotten Tomatoes.  And of course this is in my opinion, if you like comedy you need to watch this show.  As I tell all people about this show, they build up the jokes in the beginning so the end is hilarious.  They also build up jokes throughout the series that lend a hand to some of the hilarity in later seasons.  You can't jump in the middle of a show and miss half of what they built up because then you won't know what they're joking about.

Anyway, back to a theory I have.  Slight spoilers, nothing serious if you want to continue reading.  In Season 4, Episode 2 George Bluth Sr. steals plans from a competitor (they are property developers) for what he thinks is a monument dedicated to George W. Bush.  It's revealed later that his wife Lucille originally had the idea and it actually a wall, not a monument, that is to be built on the border between California and Mexico to prevent illegals from entering the US.

So, where did Trump come up with his idea?  Maybe someone on his team saw the show (they do have lives outside their campaign, I think) and shot the idea to The Donald?  Who knows, but now you'll be wondering the same thing (especially if the wall is built).

Tattoos

I took care of a 16-year-old girl the other day. Somehow we got on the subject of tattoos and she asked if I had any.  Quick answer is no.  Naturally her follow up question was why not.

Honestly the main reason I won't get a tattoo are my beliefs.  As Mormons we are taught from a young age that we should "respect our bodies as a gift from God" and "not disfigure ourselves with tattoos or body piercings." Knowing it's unethical to share my beliefs to patients (unless they ask), I gave another reason.

I've had similar conversations with my friends and coworkers.  When my colleagues ask if I'm going to get a tattoo I usually say I'm not interested.  When they insist on having more of an explanation than that I bring up the cost.

The better and more intricate the design (and having a good tattoo artist) can get pricy quickly.  I recently treated a patient in the emergency room with a nice piece of body art covering the side of her body. She admitted it cost her $350.  Several coworkers have admittedly spent over $500 for their designs.  I even found an article that will help you estimate how much your tattoo will cost.  Not to mention a botched tattoo coverup cost (or living with an ex's name/face tattooed on you).

I love to travel and I do it as frequently as I can.  For the amount of money I would drop on a tattoo I can do a lot of things (assuming I have $500 to drop on a tattoo).  From where I live I can go to NYC for a day (with extra money to go to the bathroom in case you aren't near any of the free ones), do a Segway tour of DC (when my kids are older), spend a few days at Ocean City or Virginia Beach, go to the Grand Canyon of PA, rent a cabin for a weekend in the Smoky Mountains, etc.  The longer I think about it the more trip ideas I can come up with.  I could even take a photography class online so I can take (and edit) better pictures for when I do get to these places (most of them are already on my 5 year vacation/day trip plans, some of these may come as a surprise to my wife).

Admittedly I thought about getting a tattoo at one point in my life.  And if I didn't feel strongly about my beliefs I would probably get a Disney themed or a Star Wars themed one.  I would definitely drop the money to have the light sabers with a UV glow to it.  But the combination of my beliefs and my desire to travel is much greater than getting a tattoo.

I don't care if you have tattoos and I will admire the new tattoos that are shown to me because, once again, most are fun to look at.  Many people like showing off their new body art because they are excited about it and who am I to rain on their parade?