The Babysitter review (no spoilers that I know of)

I've seen a few of the Netflix original movies now and I gotta say they are getting entertaining.  Tonight I watched The Babysitter.  If you have time you should also watch Little Evil (a recently married man thinks his new stepson is the Devil incarnate) and Death Note (not the Anime version.  The detectives in the Anime version speculate a lot and somehow their thinking is spot on, similar to Adam West as Batman deciphering a "cryptic message" from the Riddler in the Batman Movie 1966, but not nearly as entertaining as Batman).

The Babysitter

This movie is about a nervous, naive 12 year old boy whose babysitter is hot.  Everyone picks on him except his babysitter. She is supportive of his intelligence and "weirdness". 

Google Samara Weaving, you'll thank me (yes its totally SFW)

His parents go away on "business trip", leaving the babysitter in charge while they are out for the weekend.  His best friend (who happens to be a girl his same age) convinces him that all adults, including his babysitter, have sex when kids are sleeping.  She convinces him to stay awake to spy on his babysitter to prove she is right.

As I said earlier, this is actually an entertaining slasher flick.  It's predictable to an extent but it is still very entertaining.  If you like slasher flicks, watch it.  Also watch (as I said in the intro) Little Evil and the Death Note (again, not the Anime version).

Sweet, Sweet Karma

I usually vent about work here but this time I'm telling a story about sweet Karma.  I'm changing the names (for obvious reasons).

A few days ago I was assigned to be float nurse and to give lunch breaks.  I took an ambulance report, a 20 year old male patient who had a seizure.  I receive word he is being non-compliant so the EMTs administered 5mg of versed to help him calm down.

On arrival to the room I see George accompanied by his mother and father figure (no clue if it's his dad, where I live it's not unusual to have a large age gap between husband and wife).  During triage I recognized him but unable to figure out where from.  I ask George if he wanted help.  He only agreed to let me get vital signs on him.  As I attempted to get a temperature, his charming personality shone through and he became combative.

After a few short minutes of George verbally abusing everyone in the room I make sure he is oriented.  When he shows he is mentally competent I asked if he wanted treatment.  To my surprise he refused.  

George's mother then spoke up and demanded we treat him.  I explain to the mother that George is an adult and we cannot force treatment on him.  She continued to demand that we treat him so I explain a second time that it's against the law to give treatment to anyone who refuses. I then explain the only way we can treat someone who refuses is if they lacked capacity to make his own decisions.  She then asked if we could at least medicate George, I explained I would have to speak to the doctor.  

Mother then went off on me.  She claimed she did not like my answers and I could have worded them differently.  She continued stating we need to try something and she did not like that I wasn't going to do anything.  I apologized that we couldn't do anything to help but reiterated he had refused. 

As I stepped out of the room she asked to have another nurse take care of them.  Ignoring that statement I explained the situation to the doctor, the refusal and the other behaviors that happened.  He informed me he would return to the room and talk to George and his family.

As I started documenting on the conversation I was able to place where I knew George.  Several years ago I took care of him. At 16 he was a healthy young male with no medical history.  He suffered a seizure without any reason.  George came to the ER and I took care of him.  He had a wonderful personality, refused treatment and treated everyone like crap.  His mother was even a victim of his verbal abuse.  

After several hours of refusing treatment and verbally abusing everyone George was told if he could walk around the room without having any problems he would be able to leave.  Unfortunately for him shortly after he stood up he had a grand maul seizure.  I helped him to the floor and my coworker did abdominal thrusts (he had a mouthful of crackers).

George's mother finally stepped into her role as a mother and played the trump card, "I'm mom, you're the minor, you're getting treatment."  She apologized multiple times for his behavior and thanked us for helping as much as we did.  He was transferred out and never thought about him again.

So four years and George's charming personality hasn't really changed.  Shocker.

The verbal abuse in the room continues, George's mom calls the attending doctor an asshole, security is called to have them escorted out of the ER.  When security gets there George's family refuses to leave and demand that we treat George.  The security guard explains to them that he has to defer to the charge nurse to figure out what to do since they didn't want to leave.

Again, I am the float nurse relieving lunches.  The charge nurse has stepped out for her lunch break leaving me in charge.  Pointing out again they treated me like crap and did not like the way I treated them and the way I explained things to them.

The security guard asks who is in charge, I tell them it's me.  When I walk into the room the George's mom, wide eyed, says "Oh, you're in charge?"

The look on her face and her reaction were priceless.  I wish I could see it again, over and over.    

To finish the story, George and his family left without George getting any treatment.  I did notice that he no longer had a mouth full of teeth like he did when he was 16, his lovely personality must have helped him lose a few over the years.

Little Shop of Horrors

Such a cute little thing, I want one.

I remember seeing Little Shop of horrors when I was a kid.  I remember laughing along with the music, the antics of Audrey 2, etc.  As an adult I've come to a few realizations after watching the movie.  It's even better now, especially with these realizations.  I say watch it again, at the time of this posting it's on Hulu.

First realization:  Dr. Orin Scrivello DDS has a great song.  His tenacity for causing pain as a kid is what led him to be a dentist.  And we all know what it's like to visit the dentist.  Let's not forget that everything he does is modeled after The King (that would be Elvis, not Henry).

When I was young and just a bad little kid

My momma noticed funny things I did

Like shootin puppies with a BB gun

I'd poison guppies, and when I was done

I'd find a pussy cat and bash it's head

That's when my momma said

(What did she say?)

She said "My boy, I think someday

You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"

"You'll be a dentist

(Be a dentist)

You have a talent for causing things pain

(Pain)

Son, be a dentist

(Son be a dentist)

People will pay you to be inhumane

(Inhumane)"

Second realization:  Bill Murray makes a cameo.  I completely forgot about this.  This is definitely a great appearance.  Arthur Denton must be masochistic because he is truly enjoying his time with Dr. Orin Scrivello and even embraces the good doctor during a root canal.

He prepped himself and everything while Doc was walking around

Third realization (and last) is the scene after you learn of Audrey 2's plant food.  Spoiler: it's blood.  Then this scene while he's at the radio station attempting to promote the store and the plant:

Shortly after he tries to bite her

When I saw this as a kid I didn't make the connection of what was going on.  I thought he saw a pretty girl and wanted Seymour to make a move.  If you watch the movie, you'll notice shortly before this scene Audrey 2 could smell the blood off Seymour's finger and tried to bite it.  As I watched just now I noticed the subtle sniffing from the plant right after the girl stands in front of it.  I think she might be menstruating.

It Follows Movie Review

I have a tendency to enjoy watching horror movies after my wife goes to sleep (she doesn't like horror movies, I bought myself wireless headphones so I can hear the TV and she can't).  Sometimes I watch something horrible and other times I find something amusing.  This time I found something amusing with a not so subtle message.  I know there are other websites for movie reviews but I want to do it here, so here goes (spoilers ahead).

It Follows

It Follows is about a 19-year-old girl named Jay who, after a sexual encounter, finds herself being stalked by a supernatural entity.  This entity will stop at nothing to get to her after it is "passed" to her by her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend after the incident).  The ex-boyfriend did her a solid and explained what was going to happen to her now that she has this supernatural stalker.

He's not that bad, only used chloroform after consensual sex to tie her up.

The stand up guy explains that the stalker, who can only be seen by anyone who has received this curse and the only way to get rid of the target on her back is to have sex with someone else and "pass it on".  It never fully finishes with the person who passes it on and it will kill her if it catches her (great guy, giving her a death sentence so he doesn't have to die).

Oh, the supernatural being can look like anyone, anytime. Grandma while she is at school

She becomes paranoid after realizing the entity is out to get her and won't stop.  Her friends eventually believe her and one of her guy friends, Greg, admits to having "feelings" for her.  After he realizes Jay will die because of this entity he has sex with her so she can be safe (he dies a little later, at least he was a "hero").

Jay then has sex with some random people at a lake so she can get rid of the curse (does this make her a serial killer, knowing this supernatural being will kill people?).  She realizes this doesn't work because the ghost stalker is back shortly after.

A plan is derived to kill the ghost (because that makes sense) and it appears they succeed and they go home happier.  The other boy in the group confesses his love for Kelly, they hook up and live happily ever after (until the camera pans out and you see the ghost stalker following them still).

Blood in the water after killing the ghost stalker, cause ghosts can bleed.

My Take

So this is a not so subtle jab at STDs.  Just from the Netflix description of this movie "Jay learns that her date has passed on a lethal curse that can only be shed by sleeping with another unsuspecting partner" you can see she contracted something by sleeping with someone.  And, once again, you sleep with someone to pass the curse (STD) to someone else while never fully getting rid of it yourself.

If you want to scare your kids into not having sex, show them this movie and explain this is what happens when you have unprotected sex.  Or you can show them a pic of genital herpes (or any other STD).  I'm going to let you google your own pics of that one (you'll thank me for not putting it here, your own fault if you search the images).

This movie was entertaining enough.  It gave me a couple of jumps, even if it was mostly predictable.  Worth a watch at least once.

A Sad Truth

The other day I was meeting up with my in-laws at a mall parking lot to drop my children off.  When we arrived there was a helicopter flying someone out, ambulances, fire trucks and police cars were everywhere.  Nothing unusual for an emergency where they are flying someone out.

After the helicopter leaves I decide to take a nap in the car while waiting for my in-laws to arrive.  Great music was playing in the background, it was relaxing and I had a long day of work ahead of me.  My kids were occupied, the AC was blasting, it was perfect.

Ten minutes pass by in a nice slumber when I'm startled awake by a tapping at my chamber door (window, just the car window).  I see an unmarked police van parked in front of me and an officer at my window.

Officer, "How are you doing?"
Me (a little confused), "Good, just taking a nap before work."
Officer, "Where do you work?"
Me, "I'm a nurse in the ER down the road."
Officer (laughing), "So you understand why I woke you up."

At first I had no clue why he was waking me up.  It dawns on me quickly the way it looked.  I'm in a large parking lot, not many people around, it's cool and I'm in a shady spot.  The officer thought I overdosed.  He was checking to observe the situation to see if he needed any backup.

We have a good laugh, I thank him for checking up on me even though it wasn't necessary.

I thought about it later and realized that's sad.  We live in a time where people are overdosing daily.  In the ER where I work it's unusual for us to go a day without treating an overdose.  And it's happening in cars as well, just do a quick google search of overdose in a vehicle.

I'm glad the officer checked up on me, if something had happened my children would have been cared for quickly.

Why?

So I feel like I'm using this blog as a venting ground but whatever.  If I don't I'm going to snap at someone and put myself at risk of losing my career.

My day starts off with my supervisor asking me to come in early.  Apparently one guy is targeting me and a handful of others and tattling that we have cell phones out in the department. He is also claiming my documentation isn't "up to par" and they have a lot of things to do when my shift is over and I've left.  He's targeting me so much that I'm one step away from being written up and put on probation.  He hasn't confronted me, he is spineless and would rather stab you in the back.  I'm pretty close to telling him off (I'm probably never going to do it, I don't do well with confrontation).

I clock in and start my shift, already disheartened from the situation above.  I get an ambulance in one of my rooms and this person is really ill.  He has a pneumothorax (a collapsed lung) in addition to pneumonia and a shitty medical history.  I've taken care of him before and he is really sick.  He gets intubated because he can't tolerate Bipap (a breathing machine, puts positive pressure on the lungs, not a good idea for the pneumothorax) and he isn't doing well on his normal nasal cannula.

Long story short (too late) as the doctor is inserting the chest tube (he has received rocuronium and etomidate for the intubation process) he goes into PEA (pulseless electrical activity, the machine picks up on the heart rhythm but there is no heart beat).  Start chest compressions and ACLS protocol.  He goes into V-tach (ventricular tachycardia, not a good rhythm, needs to be shocked ASAP) and finally after 30 minutes of working him we get him back.

This person is 1:1, I need to be in there and I can't leave him alone.  He gets an A-line (inserted into the artery to give us accurate blood pressures and instant changes), central line (IV access inserted by the doctor that goes deep into the larger veins), peripheral line, and intraosseous line (IV into the bone) by the time we're done.  I end up working with this patient for almost 4 hours before I can do anything else.

While working with this patient someone else takes care of my other 3 patients.  She discharges 2 of them.  The charge nurse puts a sick person in one room and at 3pm she leaves.  She never told me about my new patient. She never asked anyone to watch that patient. The person who cared for and discharged the other patients left at 3pm also.  I have no clue what's going on outside of my 1:1.  The next charge nurse puts another really sick patient in my other empty room.  In my opinion those rooms either should have been closed or they should have received a different nurse to take care of them while I was with my sick patient.  Nope.

Backtrack a little.  I have a patient being admitted because she is having difficulty breathing.  The patient is in no acute respiratory distress, she is actually able to complete sentences without struggling to breathe and she is stable.  She is in room 32.  While I'm literally doing chest compressions Someone asks me to answer the phone because the hospitalist needs to talk to me about room 32 and how she needs me to put orders to change her room assignment.  I ask the messenger to tell the hospitalist to do her own fucking job (I'm not sure it was relayed in that manner).  I continued to get requests from the hospitalist regarding room 32 like why didn't you change the bed request or can you administer meds or can you put in orders for me.  Each time I had to explain I was in the middle of taking care of someone else and she would either have to do it herself or wait (guess what she did, if you guessed she did her job YOU'RE WRONG!).  At one point I finally got some orders in for this lazy, incompetent POS hospitalist and I ask the lab to draw her blood because of everything going on.  They come over and inform me the patient has a port and they can't access blood from a port.  OK, well I didn't ask her to access the port so I assume the lab tech drew blood because she moved on.  There are other ways to draw blood, just because a patient has a port doesn't mean you can't find a way.  I guess that's my fault for assuming.  She had walked off without drawing her blood, leaving me to do it for her.

While I'm still dealing with the aftermath of my sick (almost dead) patient they continue to give me ambulances and expect me to care for them as well.

Even though I'd never walk away from a job (I don't ever want to put my license at risk), I was about to snap.  My usual mostly composed responses to frustrating questions were a little testy and snide (like room 32 asking for dinner even though her blood sugar was 700, my response to the messenger was "tell the fat fucker to stop eating like a pig so her sugar is more easily controlled and maybe I can give her a trough", hopefully room 32 didn't hear that).

This makes me wonder why it's OK for nurses to fix hospitalists problems.  Why is it OK for them to fuck up and expect us not only to catch their mistake but correct it both in the computer and before it touches the patient?  I don't get paid to do their job and they won't give me money to do so.  So why do I have to put up with their incompetence while they expect us to fix their shit?

I need a mental day. Glad I don't return until Saturday for my next shift.  Until then my job can just fuck off.

My Nightmare

Ever since I was a kid I've had some pretty realistic nightmares.  I wouldn't call them night terrors, just real enough it could happen.  I usually calm myself down quickly after it happens.

Last night I had one, it's been a long time since I've had a nightmare like this.

Here goes:

I was helping a friend explore a house they just bought on a piece of property that had become overgrown.  Nothing horrible, the house wasn't really damaged by much.

The house itself is gorgeous.  It has a red brick exterior with multiple windows (we are somewhere in the south for this dream).  Several vines on the front but again, no real damage to the house.

We go in and start moving things around to get an idea of what needs to be done to prep the house to move in.  While moving things around I find this room that wasn't on the floor plan.

I feel hesitant as I reach to open the unmarked door.  I ignore my gut feeling and reach for the door anyway.

Right as I open the door I instantly regret it.  I see a man jump at me, climb on top of my back and put his hands around my mouth and nose, smothering me.

In my dream I'm being smothered and I freak out and wake up, feeling like someone is smothering me.   It took me a moment to realize the only thing on me was my CPAP machine (it goes around the nose, strapped around my head.

Needless to say, it freaked me out.  Fortunately I was able to calm myself down enough to fall back asleep.

Just for clarification

Over the last few days I've had some issues between myself and other nurses and patients.

Though these aren't uncommon, the ones I'm writing about now obviously bothered me enough that I'm clarifying a few things.

1)  As a Registered Nurse I cannot make you do anything you don't want to do.  You have rights as a patient, I am here to help you know/understand those rights and help you make the best decision for you and your health.

The friends of one of my patients this weekend did not understand this concept.  Even after multiple attempts at explaining we cannot keep a patient if they have the mental capacity to refuse treatment.  She asked multiple times "what if the patient is sick, what do you do then?" to which I responded we cannot treat her, regardless of how sick she is, because she is refusing treatment. I also explained she would have to petition to judges and doctors to remove those rights from this patient.  It is against the law for me to keep the patient if they refuse to stay.  It is that simple.

2)  Going with the right to refuse treatment, if you are going to refuse treatment, why come to the ER?  Honestly, why are you wasting your time and mine?  A patient today was obviously struggling to breathe.  His oxygen saturation on room air was 75% (it should be 93% or higher).  Due to his smoking habits his primary doctor refused to give him home oxygen (fire hazard) and this guy was literally not breathing well at all.  He was given a Bipap to help him breathe and he pulled it off.  He claimed he has anxiety, to which we gave some ativan to treat.  He continued to be noncompliant and removed the mask, refusing treatment, and even refusing to be admitted to the hospital because he did not want the treatment to help him improve.  I kid you not when I say this guy would probably be dead by tomorrow that's how bad his breathing was.  Why waste our time?  I even told him this, to which he did not respond.  After he signed out against medical advice the patient was in the lobby and our charge nurse (leaving his position without telling me for over an hour and I haven't been properly trained to be a charge nurse and he always does shit like this) and convinced him to come back and sign in.  This guy continually called out and asked for his bipap be removed because he was done having it on.  I flat out explained to him if he did not want to continue with the treatment he could sign out AMA again and stop wasting everyone's time (not one of my prouder moments as a nurse but sometimes it needs to be said).

3)  In the ER you will get seen and treated, it just might not be in a timely manner.  For crying out loud, it's an emergency department.  Yes we understand it is an emergency to you but if you can argue with me why you need to be seen next while I have a patient who can't breathe, chances are you're going to have to wait.  Please be patient, very seldom can I convince the doctor to skip over patients who have been patiently waiting their turn to help you out (unless you aren't breathing, I can usually pull someone away for that).

Also, if you are able to walk to the bathroom, please walk to the bathroom.  Shitting yourself and expecting us to clean your ass because you "can't reach because you left your special tool at home" doesn't do us any favors (I gave him the wipes and "had to take a phone call". When I returned 15 minutes later he somehow managed to clean himself without his special too. A miracle has occurred!).  In case you weren't aware, you aren't the only patient either.  Yelling out every 2 minutes while I'm helping another person will only aggravate any nurse and you honestly don't need your gown tied around your neck, it's not high on the priority list.

4)  To the RN I'm giving report to, I don't have to secure the IV the way you want me to.  As long as it is secure and won't fall out, what does it matter?  Access is access.  If it bothers you that much how I'm securing the IV, you can secure it however you want after it is your patient.

5)  Live patients come before dead ones.  Yes I understand I have a ton of paperwork that needs to be completed and a bunch of phone calls to make but when you give me an assignment with 2 live patients, 1 deceased, and tell me to relive a lunch (giving me 7 patients when I should only have 4), the documentation on the deceased doesn't have to be done immediately.  In the words of Izma (Emperor's New Groove, great underrated Disney movie) "Well, he ain't getting any deader!" I will finish the paperwork as soon as possible.  I will take care of the live patients first, they actually need help and I don't want another dead one to do paperwork on (or actually give me the support I need to care properly for all the patients you gave me).

6) Going back to #2 and #5, just because your patient has finally stopped playing games and agreed to be admitted doesn't mean I can stop everything I'm doing to take him to the ICU.  Right as he finally stopped playing games and agreed to go upstairs, an overdose arrived.  I have managed several overdose patients in the past, this isn't my first one.  I understand you have managed several overdose patients as well.  You're not going to convince me to take your patient upstairs just because "administer narcan and he'll be fine" usually works.  You didn't hear the full report on the overdose.  That report was "narcan was administered and the patient is still unresponsive".  This means your patient, as bad off as he is, is still breathing on his own and doesn't take precedence over the overdose.  My patient has already been intubated while yours can breathe freely (loose terminology on the breathing freely part, remember he is sitting 75% on room air while sitting, drops lower than that when exerting himself).

7) Patient care comes first, dead or alive.  All those techs working in my ER stocking shelves instead of getting the EKG on the chest pain, way to save lives.  That STEMI can wait, those shelves won't overstock themselves.  I don't need help cleaning up the 300lb dead patient to prep him for the morgue.  The overdose next door, hey your help isn't necessary in there either.  You make sure those shelves are overflowing with supplies because that's what is important.

8) To the overnight staff planning and prepping all the potlucks, thanks for helping us feel like we're part of a team.  Purposely waiting until all the day shift people have left yet having all the staff know what's going on makes us feel great.  Pushing back the time just to make sure any day shift stragglers are gone is also wonderful (they stopped serving their potluck meals at 7:30pm, pushed it to 11pm and about 2 weeks ago it is now served at midnight).  This is such a great team building exercise and helps us feel so included. Forgive me if you invited everyone else and somehow I didn't get the memo for the baby shower and didn't bring anything. Thanks.

This concludes my list of things I needed to clarify after a long weekend of work.  I do work with some great people, unfortunately I'm not always scheduled to work with them.  And as for the techs not helping patients, we've attempted to have our boss explain what should be done first to no avail.

Where are the Gentlemen?

I took my family to a fancy restaurant in our area to celebrate our 12th anniversary.  It's not something we do every day, or even every year (most of our anniversaries are spent at home with pizza delivery or at a chain restaurant, nothing bad, just not fancy) so we thought it would be fun.

This restaurant isn't one of those that require black tie attire but after 5pm they do require "business casual".  Basically they don't want jeans and a t-shirt.

I make the reservations at this restaurant well over 2 months before our anniversary just because of the lack of "fine dining" in our area (we live in WV, most people consider Cracker Barrel or Golden Corral "fine dining" here) I wanted to make sure we have a seat.  The reservations are made without a problem.

Fast forward to the actual dinner night.  This restaurant is hopping.  Way busier than we've seen in the past (the one other time we went).  Turns out that it is both Prom night for the small city but it is also college graduation for the campus next door.

Busy.

As we sit there at the dinner table I'm observing some of the other parties near our table.  I notice one of the prom girls at one point get up to go powder her nose.  As she returns I notice her date push the chair out for her.

Admittedly I am no scholar in turns of what would be considered appropriate etiquette, especially when it comes to eating at a fancy restaurant (hell, I still put the fork on the right and the knife on the left because you're supposed to use the fork as a shovel to get the food to your mouth, right?).  One of the few things I know is when you're date leaves the table you should stand up (or at least rise) and when they return you stand up and pull the chair out to help her sit back down.  This guy reached across the table and pushed the chair out for his date.  In the same manner you would push the chair out for your sister at home.  He never stood up, just half-assed his way to "being a gentleman".

I was ashamed for him.  What's the point in half-assing your way to a gentleman?  If you're going to try go all in.  Once again, I'm no expert but I know that.  I'm sad for this generation.  Here's hoping I can teach my boy how to be a gentleman when it's time.

Uh, Hell No!

I feel violated.

I received a female patient today from the local jail who was vomiting and a heart rate in the 40s (should be at least 60, maybe 50s for someone who exercises regularly and I think the only exercise this patient did was taking a spoon to her mouth).  Officers are in the room telling her to be patient while we do our job.

I can tell this patient is going to be time consuming because as she was going to vomit she would purposely vomit on the floor.  How do I know this you ask?  She was given two different emesis basins and instead of using them she leaned over the bed on vomited on the floor (classy).

Considering the circumstances I needed to start an IV to help her get fluids, etc.  I get my other patients situated so I can spend time in her room knowing it will be time consuming.  By the time I return the guards are gone and she informs me she can leave whenever because she is no longer in the custody of the police.

She claimed she wasn't interested in leaving and she wanted treatment.  I proceed to tie a tourniquet and stretch her arm out to look for a vein.

Here's where the violation starts.  The picture below is how to search for a vein (if you have a table to assist in keeping the arm straight).  In the ED this is seldom available so we use our bodies (at least I do) to help keep the arm outstretched while searching.

Veins are spongy and will bounce back to normal, arteries have pulses, that's how you differentiate.

The way she is positioned she is able to use her fingertips to touch the inside of my arm (gentle brushing, obviously flirting type), then reached up and touched my chest.  I tell her to stop and to act appropriate during the process if she wanted me to continue.

She stops, I move to look for a vein in the other arm.  Since I am now on her left arm I need to stretch out her arm and lay it in my lap (I start IVs with my right arm, searching for veins with the left).  At this point she took complete advantage of the situation.  She started feeling up my leg working her way up my leg.  Fortunately for me my wallet was in the pocket; she got distracted and tried to remove take the wallet instead.  

As quickly as possible I removed the tourniquet and stand up.  As I was standing up she reached up to my chest again and grabbed the trauma shears out of my pocket, asking if she could keep it.  I yank it out of her hands, remove all sharp objects from her reach and tell her that she is not welcome in the ED if she won't act appropriately.  I reminded her she was no longer in police custody so she could walk out whenever and left the room.

My coworkers (being the great friends they are) immediately pointed out she was in jail and just wanted to touch a man again.  Thanks guys.  She had only been incarcerated less than 36 hours by this point.  I've gone longer than that without seeing my wife (though she will probably claim I do the same thing if I've gone that long without seeing her).

This patient ended up walking out of the room and shat herself in the lobby in front of everyone, then demanded a change of clothes before she would leave.  Paper scrubs were happily provided to get rid of her.

Again, I feel so violated. 

On a side note, I told my coworkers this story and they got confused with the word shat.  It is the past tense of shit, in case you didn't know.  My patient shat on the floor because he was drunk and missed the bedside commode (yes, this was also my patient while dealing with the one above, fun night).

DIY Surprise

Several years ago my wife wanted to renovate the half bath on the main floor.  I don't recall why it never happened but I decided today I would make it happen.  My "quick" DIY projects never turn out as quickly as I would like, I don't know why I thought today would be any different.

First, I needed my children to be away.  That would make it much easier to run to the store quickly and back if needed, minimal problems right?  My in-laws were planning on taking the kids away after Easter and I would pick them up Tuesday morning.  Perfect, no kids for an interruption.  That means I could literally wake up and work on it as long as I wanted until Wifey got home.  Nothing bad, plenty of uninterrupted hours.

Before I even left work I get a text message that my in-laws were ill and couldn't watch the kids.  I should have seen it as an omen.  

I decided to proceed, it's not difficult to make a quick change in sinks right?  I inform the kids and we start the day running to the store after breakfast (easily a good 2 hours later than I anticipated).  I also need to run many additional errands now that I have the kids.  Still, I can manage, right?

This sink has been here for almost 12 years, not bad but obviously lacking something.

So I return from the store with my stuff to swap the sink out.  Removing the faucet wasn't a problem. I then tried to remove it from the wall.  I assumed there was just some caulking around the exterior to help secure it.  Boy, I was wrong.

After well over 30 minutes chipping away at the glue I gave up and tried pulling it from the wall.

DOH!

Lot's of hoping and praying this can be covered without a patch job.

Well, I got it off the wall.  And on the plus side there is no hole through the wall.  Even better the new sink can cover it up without patching anything.  Time to move on to attaching the faucet.  I realize quickly I need something from the store again, load up the kids and lets go!

I get home with the tubing to attach the water to the faucet and now I open the faucet.  Crap! I grabbed the wrong one.  There was an identical name that required a much larger sink.  So much for my surprise.  At this point in the game it's too late to get it finished before the wife will get home.  I conceded and explained to her when she got (ruining the surprise).  At least it looks better.

Kept myself out of the doghouse with the cover up.

At this point I have attached everything except the drain.  After working on this project all afternoon (which should've taken me less than 4 hours) I'm finally at a stopping point.  I give up.  I should just realize that I'm not nearly as handy as I used to be and I should just ask for help.  I wasn't able to get to painting the storm door frame but I at least have everything for that.

The finished product. A much needed improvement from the original sink.    

I need to attach it to the wall but that's a job for another day.  Nobody is going to climb on this (that I know of).

All in all at least it was nice to try and surprise the wife.  A 3 week early anniversary present.  It'll be done soon.

Lazy Americans

I read an article today about how "lazy Americans" are hurting the economy and I gotta say I'm a little offended.

The article starts out with Tyler Cowen, an economist, pointing to the fact that Americans have not started nearly as many businesses were started in 2014 as in years past.  

Have you looked at the startup of a business venture?  Holy crap.  If you want to go with purchasing a franchise you need to have a large amount of liquid assets available, not to mention your net worth.

I looked into franchising a donut shop I think would succeed wonderfully on the East Coast.  Ever heard of Shipley's Donuts?  Oh my they are wonderful.  To franchise this company they require $200,000 liquid funds, $600,000 net worth, not including ability to purchase land in the area you are looking to build.

Most Americans I know don't have half of that even available.  Hell, even going a cheaper route would be the Taco Truck thing.  I've looked into it and it would still take almost $20,000 just to have a pull behind taco stand to set up.  That doesn't include purchasing recipes (I am no chef but I've found several recipes that are terrific, I would feel obligated to reach out to those whose recipes I would use and purchase them), advertising, food costs, utensils, plates, the list goes on.

I wouldn't consider myself a Lazy American by any means but I definitely won't be starting any businesses just for the simple fact that I'm trying to get out of debt, not dig myself deeper.  I work my ass off for what I have and so does my wife.  Besides, I like to travel and if I were to open a business I wouldn't be able to travel at all unless it becomes a successful business, and that could take several years.

And no way I'm going to be a landlord, been there, done that (at least assisted with my father's slum lordship and I'm not going down that road, especially with this economy).

He claims we Americans have created an insulated life for ourselves and our children and we're afraid of change.  Ok, I'll give him this point.  Change is scary for a lot of people.  I look to my own family and extended family and I see a lot of people going through the same motions because they are afraid of changing their norm.  They complain about their life on Facebook but do nothing to change it (and that's part of the reason I'm only on Facebook a few minutes a day, my eyes can only roll so many times before they start to hurt).  Even our little family has a routine that is difficult to change (we allow a lot of flexibility but for the most part it's the same, even down to the food).

Cowen also reports that we Americans aren't moving as often as we used to.  Is that a bad thing?  Living in one house usually means you're paying your mortgage down.  I've lived in the same house for almost 12 years.  We would like to make some major changes to it now that we can afford to do it but financially it doesn't make sense (to me, wifey might think differently at times).  Yes we could probably sell our house but it would be at a significant loss from when we purchased it (right before the crash when everything was inflated).  The only thing I would want to do is move closer to my wife's job so she doesn't have to commute so far but the houses in that area are a lot smaller and have no land (I need the land, I can't live so close to people, they bother me in large groups).

The article continues stating there is a great reset going to happen soon into Trump's presidency.  He claims it usually happens after a great trauma or war (considering we've bombed Syria and Afghanistan in the last few days, I'm leaning toward a war).

The last thing I'll point out from this article is the fact that he wants people to take more risks in their personal lives.  Once again, I'll give him this but only to an extent.  Making a change in your life to improve it for the better is always a good thing.  Taking a risk here can be extremely beneficial in many aspects.  But before just "flipping a coin" there should be a lot of thought and consideration that goes into the decision.  In addition to studying out the options one should pray for guidance (I will always encourage someone to reach out to Heavenly Father for guidance, as long as you believe he will help direct you).

After working in group homes and the parks and recreation department for over 10 years I realized I wasn't going to ever support a family.  I needed to make a change so I returned to school and became a nurse.  It wasn't cheap (combined debt for 2 bachelors degrees was well over $50k) but it has been significantly better for our lives.  Now at this point in my nursing career, as much as I would like to further my education it doesn't make sense.  I would have to return to school (not a bad thing) but that would take time away from my family for the 2-4 years.  It would incur more debt, probably close to $100k, and I won't even double my current annual income doing this.  Is it worthwhile?  Probably not (it hasn't stopped one director from trying to convince me to return).

Going back to the offended part, just because we're not taking as many risks to "help the economy", why does that make us lazy?  There are many more educated people out there than in the past, many of whom are living frugally so they can save for a nicer retirement.  Or vacation.  Our captivation on the internet is living vicariously through people who can afford to do things (at least for me).  Why is it wrong to live frugally, save money, so we can have that week or two extravagant vacation with a few other nice outings while we wait?  Once again, I work my ass off as does my wife, for what we have.

Family Oriented

In the ER we take care of people from every profession (obviously, we can't turn anyone away).  Most professions are typical (factory worker, truck driver, teller, food service, etc).  Occasionally we get the more "exotic" professionals.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Making conversation I asked where she worked.  She then divulged a lot of information that was rather interesting.  She used to work at "Gentlemen's Club A" before they lost their liquor license (selling alcoholic drinks to minors).  She then got a job at "Gentlemen's Club B".

Gentlemen's Club A is going to be reopening soon (at least that's what their sign says, I drive past it regularly) so I asked if she was going to return to Club A.  She informed me she would not because Club B was more family oriented.

So, that's not the reason I would ever expect out of an exotic dancer describing her place of employment.  "Hi Son, for your 12th birthday lets go to this family joint I heard about. You'll love it!"  Not exactly what I have in mind.

Her explanation isn't much better.  Club A is more cutthroat there between the workers.  They are likely to kick you while you're down (I pointed out the obvious, all the employees are competing for money).  Apparently Club B is more like a family (wrong choice of words, for all we know this area they could be family) and they are more friendly.

Interesting.  Anyone up for a family outing to Club B?

I don't think so

I have a 15 year old female patient who claims she can't see after getting hit in the face with a cell phone.  She obviously has a swollen black eye to one side but no trauma to the other side.  She refuses to even try to open her eye (unless she thinks you're not looking where she'll not only open both eyes but she is able to text from her phone without any problem until you walk in the room where she'll then pretend she can't read/write anymore on her phone).

At one point she needed to walk to the bathroom, once again "walking blindly" with her younger sister helping her out.  She calls my name and grabs my elbow (how could she see where that was?) so I can help "guide" her to the bathroom (where she then proceeds to take care of everything herself, presumably, because no way in hell I'm hanging out in there).

By the end of the night it's time to determine whether or not her eye will need stitches.  Because of all the dried blood near the site of injury (because when you're bleeding you just let it run down your face, no need to try and control it) we have to soak (damp cloth) and scrub (gauze and elbow grease). Because of the pain she is in (honestly I believe she hurt, just milked it for everything) she said she needed to hold my hand.  At this point she reaches out and grabs my hand (miraculously able to see exactly where my hand was even though her eyes were still "swollen shut").  Keep in mind her girlfriend (whose perfume smelled a lot like wacky tobacky), mother and sister are in the room with her cousin cleaning the room next door (who also couldn't figure out how to unlock a push lock door, that's something special).

Seriously, she just needed to push the handle down to unlock it and she couldn't figure it out.  Please don't breed...

I don't think so.  I literally pulled my hand away from her and pointed out her family and friends who could hold her hand during this "traumatizing moment" (ok, I didn't actually say traumatizing moment, just told her about her family in the room who could hold her hand).

Several co-workers said I should have just let her hold my hand so she could get a contact buzz from the situation (I think there was enough buzz in that room just going second hand. Here's hoping I don't get drug tested any time soon).

So, what would you do in this scenario?

Witch Hunt

Our hospital "upgraded" our specimen collection system to something called Beaker.  Now instead of the lab collecting the specimens sent to them in the computer the nurses and techs do that.  It was a big readjustment for all of us, including myself.

Over the last several weeks they have received unlabeled specimens from our emergency department more frequently.  It's becoming aggravating to my boss to have to deal with the lab and something that should easily be taken care of from our end, just an extra minute of documentation on the computer before leaving the room and you're good.

Because of the number of calls the boss is getting on unlabeled specimens (specimens are usually blood and urine though can include many other things) it feels as though he is on a witch hunt now.

Earlier this week he sent me an email informing me not to send unlabeled specimens to the lab.  He included the patient ID for me to look into the chart.

My response was simple.  If the specimen was unlabeled, how does he know which patient it came from? Or even how did he know it came from me?

As you can see (I think) I also pointed out that the patient in question had results from the urine that was supposedly unlabeled and sent to them along with a collection from myself.

Being the boss man of course I'm going to make it sound a little more professional than that.  His response, it was recollected.

I'm not the only one he has done this to.  Two other people in my department got emails from Big Boss Man with similar accusations.  Their response was similar to mine.  How does he know which patient the unlabeled specimen came from and how does he know which person to blame for sending it to the lab without the proper label?

It honestly sounds like he wants to correct the problem (rightfully so) but it also sounds like a giant witch hunt to me.  Maybe he thinks if he sends enough of these accusations out the problem will correct itself.  Regardless of how he handles it I'm in the clear as far as I can tell.

What's going on?

Over the last couple of years I've had more than a few coworkers get fired.  Most of them deserved it (in my opinion), they would take a lunch break lasting an hour when it should only be 30 minutes or disappear for long periods of time.  One of them was so verbally abusive to any female "subordinate" he would make them cry.

One trend that is surprisingly shocking (to me) is the amount of my coworkers that have been fired for drug use/mismanagement.

As nurses we have to document when we take narcotics out of the Omnicell.  If the patients refuse the medication or the doctor orders a partial dose we have a second nurse sign off showing the narcotic was disposed of appropriately.

In the last 2.5 years there have been 5 nurses terminated for drug problems.  The first one I got called at home and asked if I had seen her dispose of the narcotic.  Turns out one of the patients noticed she was getting tylenol instead of percocet and reported the problem to the provider.  That led to the first nurse being terminated.

The next 2 took place about a year later.  One of them was spastic and would disappear for long periods of time.  Technically she resigned from her position and was going to work somewhere else in the hospital but she was so bad at abandoning her patients she was told not to worry about finishing her 2 weeks and she could leave then.  She was pulled over a few weeks later and admitted to the police she had been using drugs (LSD, PCP and Mary Jane).

Shortly after her the second never showed up to his shift.  There was a huge snowstorm coming in (we ended up getting 4 feet of snow in a 24 hour period).  We ended up calling the police near where he lived.  They reported he was safely in jail.  Confused we asked what was going on.  Apparently he was arrested for possession of drugs with the intent to sell to minors (he was in a school zone or something like that).  That one caught us all by surprise.

Another was busted under the influence while at work during this time frame as well.

Most recently two of my friends were dismissed for the same thing.  They were withdrawing narcotics with "verbal orders" on patients that they weren't even taking care of.  These two were more shocking to me because they were both friends of mine (the rest were like those annoying coworkers who you deal with because you need to make it through your shift without harming anyone).

WTF were they thinking?  Not only did they lose their jobs but they may have even lost their nursing license.  I worked my ass off for my license, why would I risk losing my livelihood and potentially my entire family over something so stupid and easily remedied?  Obviously their situations at home were different than mine but still.  Of all these people only one that I know of has bounced back but she is still not sure if the boss that fired her is going to press charges.  If so she will be in the same boat as the other 4.

I pray for them that they may be able to overcome whatever problem they have at home.  I wish them all the best in their ventures.  As for me, no way I'm going to throw my nursing license away for something so mundane.

Board Games

This post will show the dorkier side of me.

Some friends invited me to a board game convention.  I had a blast.  Basically we arrived on Thursday morning, started playing board games and eventually went to sleep and repeat the next day. Once again, I'm a dork but it was awesome.

Now, not just any board game was played.  Board games like Monopoly and Sorry are "frowned upon" (admittedly just for this I wanted to buy a copy of Monopoly and play the game just to see their reactions).  The games that are played there are more along the obscure side but still entertaining.  Fortunately one of my friends there was more than happy to learn the new games while we played games we are familiar with.

Here are some of those games we played and my take on each one. There are literally hundreds of games there.  Keep in mind most of these games can be time consuming, taking anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half or more.  Because we were still learning most of these games it took a lot longer to play.  Once learned these games would move a lot more quickly.

This will be a long post (we played a lot of games over 2 days) so here are the games I played:  Colosseum, 7 Wonders, Alibi, Can't Stop, Ticket to Ride, Last Spike, Colossal Arena, Furstenfeld, Bacchus' Banquet, Patchwork (I will own this game at some point), Small World, Istanbul, Settlers of Catan, Asteroids, Roll for the Galaxy, Blood Rage (one of my favorites), Code Name Pictures, Loch Ness, Hornet

Colosseum

It's like you're Commodus putting on a show for your people

So with this game you own a colosseum and you're trying to put on the best show.  You collect tiles, trade with your competitors to put on a show.  You try to get the emperor, senators and nobles in your colosseum to get more points.

The game in all it's glory

My take on this game, it's long and entertaining.  I wouldn't play this game with less than 4 people, it's a 5 person max.  It takes at least 2 games to figure out a decent strategy but even with meticulous planning (which can take a while for some people, I tend to be on the quicker side of planning) things can go awry.  I ended up playing the game twice during my stay.  I wouldn't own it but if it gets pulled out somewhere I wouldn't mind joining the game.

Bacchus' Banquet

Caligula has invited you to party like it's 37 AD.  Some of the guests are there to get gifts, some are there to eat and drink and others there to kill him.  You have to watch your waistline while trying to survive this feast.  Literally.  If you eat too much you die.  And that's just what Caligula wants. In order for him to win he either kills 3 people or eats and drinks a certain amount.  Depending on your character you either try to kill him or attempting to thrive off his scraps.  

This was a very entertaining game.  My only complaint is the turn taking. You only take your turn if someone gives you a gift that you accept.  This can mean you wait a long while between turns.  Overall it moves quickly.

Can't Stop

By far the easiest game I learned to play.  Roll the dice, place your 3 markers on the first 3 numbers rolled.  Move your token each time your number is rolled until it reaches the end.  If you don't roll your number before saving your spot you lose your place and start over.

We played this game while the game master learned a new game.  Very addicting but I wouldn't pay full price for this game.  If you see it at a garage sale totally worthwhile.

Last Spike

You're competing track builders trying to buy as much property before the last spike is driven between St. Louis and Sacramento.  The more you own, the more money you get.

This was another filler game while the game master learned another.  This one could be worth purchasing if you had a group of regulars that play games.  Though it can be played with 2 people it would be much more entertaining with more.  At $40 new I'm not sure it would be completely worth it but I don't have enough people to play this game with regularly (and the ones that invited me already own it).  Maybe another day.

7 Wonders

Build your army, build your city, get points, that's about all I know about this game.  

The problem I had with this game was it was a last minute game right before we ran off to dinner and 2 people joined.  No problem, no need to be exclusive.  The problem was I was the only person who had never played the game before, I had no clue about the strategy, no idea what was going on and that's about it.  I thought I was doing decent but honestly I don't know what was going on.  I'd be willing to give this game another shot but it would need to be under completely different circumstances.

Ticket to Ride

You build trains to get to your destination.  The longer the train the more points you get.  You can get blocked quickly if you don't build fast enough.  

I actually own this game, got it for Christmas one year from my wife.  I really enjoy this game, the more the merrier.  As I said earlier, this is yet another time consuming game.  It can last over an hour, easily.  Definitely worthwhile.  Though I haven't played the other variations of this game I'm sure they would be great to play.

Furstenfeld

In this game you're a farmer who sells goods to local breweries.  The supply and demand of those products determines the amount you can sell those products for.  Ultimately you want to buy your own castle, the first to do so wins.

This game was a blast to play.  Though you can play it with 2 people it is definitely meant to be played with more.  The more people playing makes it more difficult to win and competition is always more exciting.

Patchwork

You're trying to build a quilt and fill in as many spaces as you can.  You only have patches to work with.  It's only for 2 players.

This is a game I will definitely own.  It's quick to play and easy to learn.  A wonderful game for one on one time with family.

Settlers of Catan

"The game that started it all".  From what everyone I spoke with at the convention they claim this game is the one that helped propel board gaming to it's current status.  This game is a blast to play.  You're settling a new area and with limited resources you have to build cities, roads, and more settlements.

I've owned this game since the early 2000's.  I bought the 5-6 player expansion along with different expansion games available at that time, Cities and Knights and Seafarers of Catan.  I love this game and wish I could play it much more frequently than I do.  If you haven't played this game, I say go out and get it. After writing this post to give you links I think I own some classic games worth quite a bit of money.  WOOHOO!

Alibi

This game is like Clue with cards.  And motives.  And so many specifics that it's pretty difficult to figure everything out.

I hate the game Clue (the movie was terrific, love it).  And this game is almost identical to clue.  But instead of who, with what and where you also have why.  And to make it more difficult you may have the right person but if you guess the wrong time of day you get it wrong anyway.  It's horrible and takes forever.  I personally wouldn't bother with this game at all.

Colossal Arena

This game, from what I understand, has been out of print for a while.  You place bets on which monster you think will survive the arena, while you are able to control (to an extent) what happens and who survives.

This game was entertaining, and with a few tweaks it would be worth purchasing.  Once again if it were in print.  We'll see what happens.  I enjoyed this game.

Smallworld

This is a game of world conquest.  Different races (elves, trolls, magicians, dwarves, skeletons, etc) fight to control the most territory.  You control one race at a time and you choose when to let your current race die and start another race to continue the world domination.

I enjoyed this game.  I could see myself owning this game at some point, if my kids start enjoying games more (and develop more patience).  There are several expansions and again it looks to be worthwhile.

Istanbul

You're a merchant in Istanbul (not Constantinople) and you're trading goods for gems.  You can only move a certain number of spaces and if you run out of "help" you can't do anything until you've collected them.

This was a fun game, takes a while to set up but easy to learn and many different ways to win.  A fun game to play with friends.

Asteroyds

For those of us who can remember arcades I'm sure you remember Asteroids.  It was painfully addicting and I'm sure you spend many quarters trying to perfect your game (I never did, I'm horrible at arcade games but it never stopped me from trying).  

This game you're trying to fly your spacecraft to 4 different checkpoints avoiding asteroids along the way. The asteroids move with each dice roll and the number rolled determines the direction each asteroid moves.  We played the easy version of this game, there was no timer.  To increase difficulty you can set a timer so you don't have as much time to plan your route.  

I can't imagine what this game is like using the timer, anxiety increases just thinking about adding that component.  It would take quite a while to plan a route and even then I would miss something and either get hit or run into an asteroid.  There are also other variations of this game, maybe one day I'll venture farther out and play more.

Roll for the Galaxy

The gist of this game is you roll dice to build and explore the galaxy.  Unfortunately the person who taught me this game wasn't that great at explaining it at all.  It would be worthwhile to learn again but maybe I actually attempt to learn it better myself instead of relying on someone else.

Hornet

You're a hornet that collects pollen and makes honey.  I always thought bees collected pollen and made honey while hornets were carnivorous thieves.  I don't understand it but the game is amusing.  You definitely have to plan several steps ahead and pray for a lot of luck that things go as planned.

Codename Pictures

It's your typical party game where you're divided into teams and have to describe to the team where you're pictures are located without actually revealing the actual picture.  You can't guess wrong or the other team wins.

I prefer other party games to this one.  I like games where there is more interaction between everyone, one person here can only say one word and everyone else talks.

Loch Ness

You're a tourist trying to take pictures of the Loch Ness monster.  You move around thinking where the best picture is going to be while the Nessie moves around the lake.

This was a fun game but considering the logistics of the game, it would be much more entertaining with more than 2 people.

Blood Rage

The gist of this game is you're a bunch of viking clans wanting to die in battle to get to Valhalla in order to be resurrected in Ragnorak.  You have a bunch of missions and rage to help you in this quest of a glorious death.  

This honestly was one of my favorite games played there.  The person who explained how to play this game was the same one who explained the Roll for the Galaxy and didn't do a great job but we all caught the gist and it was a load of fun.  If I had people that would play this game regularly with me I would buy this game.

The Nacho Incident

You're trying to smuggle good Mexican food into Canada trying to avoid getting caught by the Mounties.

The premise is simple but it takes a bit to learn.  Unfortunately because of how long it took me to play this game the first time with my family I don't think it'll be played frequently in this household.  I do like this game though and might look into some of the other games this developer has.