Uh, Hell No!

I feel violated.

I received a female patient today from the local jail who was vomiting and a heart rate in the 40s (should be at least 60, maybe 50s for someone who exercises regularly and I think the only exercise this patient did was taking a spoon to her mouth).  Officers are in the room telling her to be patient while we do our job.

I can tell this patient is going to be time consuming because as she was going to vomit she would purposely vomit on the floor.  How do I know this you ask?  She was given two different emesis basins and instead of using them she leaned over the bed on vomited on the floor (classy).

Considering the circumstances I needed to start an IV to help her get fluids, etc.  I get my other patients situated so I can spend time in her room knowing it will be time consuming.  By the time I return the guards are gone and she informs me she can leave whenever because she is no longer in the custody of the police.

She claimed she wasn't interested in leaving and she wanted treatment.  I proceed to tie a tourniquet and stretch her arm out to look for a vein.

Here's where the violation starts.  The picture below is how to search for a vein (if you have a table to assist in keeping the arm straight).  In the ED this is seldom available so we use our bodies (at least I do) to help keep the arm outstretched while searching.

Veins are spongy and will bounce back to normal, arteries have pulses, that's how you differentiate.

The way she is positioned she is able to use her fingertips to touch the inside of my arm (gentle brushing, obviously flirting type), then reached up and touched my chest.  I tell her to stop and to act appropriate during the process if she wanted me to continue.

She stops, I move to look for a vein in the other arm.  Since I am now on her left arm I need to stretch out her arm and lay it in my lap (I start IVs with my right arm, searching for veins with the left).  At this point she took complete advantage of the situation.  She started feeling up my leg working her way up my leg.  Fortunately for me my wallet was in the pocket; she got distracted and tried to remove take the wallet instead.  

As quickly as possible I removed the tourniquet and stand up.  As I was standing up she reached up to my chest again and grabbed the trauma shears out of my pocket, asking if she could keep it.  I yank it out of her hands, remove all sharp objects from her reach and tell her that she is not welcome in the ED if she won't act appropriately.  I reminded her she was no longer in police custody so she could walk out whenever and left the room.

My coworkers (being the great friends they are) immediately pointed out she was in jail and just wanted to touch a man again.  Thanks guys.  She had only been incarcerated less than 36 hours by this point.  I've gone longer than that without seeing my wife (though she will probably claim I do the same thing if I've gone that long without seeing her).

This patient ended up walking out of the room and shat herself in the lobby in front of everyone, then demanded a change of clothes before she would leave.  Paper scrubs were happily provided to get rid of her.

Again, I feel so violated. 

On a side note, I told my coworkers this story and they got confused with the word shat.  It is the past tense of shit, in case you didn't know.  My patient shat on the floor because he was drunk and missed the bedside commode (yes, this was also my patient while dealing with the one above, fun night).