Rhetorical Questions

I was accused of not taking care of my own patients tonight. I asked her to start an IV for me on one patient (me and another nurse tried and failed) and I asked the tech to start a Foley catheter who in turn asked her for help with it.

I then hear her scream "Well fuck, why am I taking care of his fucking patients?  The only thing I haven't done for him is his assessment."

We've been working together tonight in the same section by this point for 2.5 hours and that's all I've asked her to do. Start an IV we had already missed. The tech asked for help doing her job. I didn't ask her to do it.

Anyway, I can tell she's fuming so I watch my patients remotely from the other end of the ED and I can hear her say to the charge nurse "If he would stop eating his fucking tacos maybe he could take care of his fucking patients and I wouldn't have to."

A little while later I go to the charge nurse to explain what had happened from my point of view.  He cuts me off and asks me if my patients are taken care of, if I'm caught up. I say yes and try again to explain and he cuts me off and says make sure my shit is done.  I explain again I'm caught up minus some documentation.

Whatever.  I only asked her to do one thing. Heaven forbid she get off her high horse and help.

Here's what I got out of tonight: Don't ever ask her for help, heaven forbid I set her off on a racist tirade attacking me personally, and don't ask this tech for help cause she'll throw me under the bus.

Neither one of them can look me in the eye after this, both avoid me (and I them).  So why is this still bothering me?  Chances of me being written up are nonexistent.  It's over with, I'm at home and don't go back to work until Tuesday.  Why am I still up?  Why am I frustrated over this situation?

I should pull an Elsa and let it go.

Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

This riddle has plagued me for years and I'm sure it has done the same for most anybody who has watched Alice in Wonderland (and apparently I'm not the first to be writing on this).  I was bored and asked Siri about this when bored the other day and she directed me to Wikipedia saying "Because Poe wrote on both".

I liked this answer so much I obviously decided to write a post.  Doing a little more research into it I found that Lewis Carroll never intended to have an answer for the riddle.  From the book:

"Have you guessed the riddle yet?" the Hatter said, turning to Alice again. 

"No, I give it up," Alice replied. "What's the answer?" 

"I haven't the slightest idea," said the Hatter. 

"Nor I," said the March Hare. 

Alice sighed wearily. "I think you might do something better with the time," she said, "than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers."

So he never had any intentions on answering his own riddle.  Nice.  He did come up with an answer after being bugged for so long.  He wrote:  

Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is never put with the wrong end in front!

And then stated in a disclaimer that the original riddle has no answer.  

So if you haven't looked up why A raven is like a writing desk, here you go.  As for me, I'm going to ask Siri more questions about random stuff until I fall asleep (you should ask what she's doing for Christmas, it changes every time and funny all the time).

Mexican Food

Recently we met up with my in-laws so they could watch my children.  When deciding where to meet my in-laws stated Taco Bell was a good meeting place.  They figure there is something for everyone there.  My wife explains to her dad that my kids (8 and 7 at this point) have never eaten Taco Bell.  He is shocked by this remark so my wife points out to him (as if he didn't already know) both my heritage and what I like for food.  He starts laughing when the connection is made.

Considering my heritage (Mexican if you haven't read previous posts) and where I grew up (Southeast Texas), Taco Bell isn't exactly where I go when I'm craving a good taco or burrito.

Taco Bell's burrito, it does look good, doesn't it?

Don't get me wrong, I crave the occasional Grill Stuffed Burrito, but I am forever in search of more authentic Mexican food.  Ever since I left Texas I can't seem to find it frequently.  I get the occasional glimpse of it's full glory in other locations but it's not the same.

For example when I lived in Provo, UT some friends of mine and I stumbled across a restaurant in the downtown area.  It was a hole in the wall, they literally painted the brick wall outside their restaurant white and the name of the place in red (it was called La Tormenta at the intersection of Center Street and 400 North, there is a big Coca Cola sign on it now. If you drop Pegman on the street view look north, you'll see the building I'm talking about.  I'm sad it's gone). The food was terrific and most of the time we would end up with Montezuma's Revenge (worth it every time).

My current place of residence had a great place when I first moved out here 11 years ago.  Unfortunately because of where I live the food went from flavorful with a kick to "gringoized" (dulled down the spice flavor to accommodate the gringo population).

Some of the other places I've found recently are terrific.  They are true to their heritage and as far as I know they won't change anytime soon (and for that I'm eternally grateful).

Sadly the lady is retiring and I'm going to lose one of my go to taco restaurants.  Best tacos I've eaten on the east coast.  The menu is small, only a few items but what she cooks is excellent (it's like a party in your mouth and everyone's invited).

Taco Rico, simple yet satisfying (and terrific)

Recently a friend of mine pointed me in the direction of another restaurant in the area, not too far from home.  I'm excited about this one because they turned a house into a restaurant and they painted their cinder blocks brown.  The food so far has been terrific and I look forward to eating their several more times.

Enchiladas with green sauce

Mole 

Worst case scenario I can cook up my own meal.  I'm still learning a few things but it'll be more than worthwhile when I perfect my dishes.

Chorizo with eggs, refried beans and potatoes, my personal favorite  I make from scratch

A day in our shoes

These thoughts came from a friend.  I'm not always able to articulate my sentiments as well as this, especially when it comes to this subject.  I agree 100% though (edited some grammar).

If patients' families walked a day in the life of a nurse, doctor, or anyone in healthcare they may be a little more understanding at what we do. 

Just because we walk by your room and are laughing or smiling does not mean we're not doing our job or we must not be busy.  

Are we not allowed to laugh or smile? We experience more than you may realize and sometimes laughing or smiling is our only way of coping with certain situations.  

We are overworked, underpaid, and short staffed most of the time. We strive to give our best to your family members. We are sometimes the only ones there for our patients, laughing with them, crying with them, or simply there just to listen. 

We see patients take their first breath and their last. We try and make the most/best out of every situation. So please before judging us for laughing at a time which may be stressful to you, stop and think what we may have just experienced. Just one day in our shoes would change your mind forever.

More ghost stories

The final installment of the ghost stories I was told growing up.  Once again, these are true according to my mother.  She claims these happened to her and her family growing up and as children everything she told us was taken for fact.  You can find the other stories here and here.

Don't go outside

One of the many migrant moves that took my grandparents around the midwest landed them in a mobile home.  This mobile home was near a storm ditch, steep slope and deep.

One night my grandparents decided to go out and leave the kids without a babysitter.  They left my 9 aunts and uncles to care for themselves.  The only instructions they left were "Don't go outside."

As usually happens when there are lots of unsupervised children they became a little rambunctious.  Things got out of hand and they were soon outside wrestling and rolling down the steep embankment of the storm ditch.

After many times of rolling down the ditch my mom looked up and saw something on the roof of their home laughing and jumping.  Mom screamed and everyone ran in the house.

While in the house the creature on the roof tormented them for a long period of time.  The roof and walls trembled and shook under the weight of this thing.  Lights flickered throughout the entire ordeal.

Terrified my aunts and uncles screamed and cried.  The tormenting continued long into the night until my grandparents came home to find the terrified kids crying.

Ghost Bride

Traveling to another location brought my family to an old two story house with an attic.  It was large and spacious, especially for a family of 11.  The landlord gave them one rule, don't go to the attic.

As seemed to always happen my aunts and uncles were having a lot of fun one night and while my grandparents weren't paying attention my uncle dared my mom to open the door.  They were bored and wanted to explore.

Initially my mom refused claiming that was their only rule.  My uncle was very persuasive and eventually convinced my mom to open the door.

As soon as the door opened a crack a loud scream was heard throughout the house.  A gust of wind forced the door open and my mom saw a misty figure of a woman dressed in a wedding gown.

This figure disappeared and screaming could be heard throughout the house.  Doors opened and shut by themselves, lights flickered on and off in every room throughout the house.

The family could only take it so long before they were forced to go outside and wait for the landlord to arrive.  My grandparents demanded an explanation.  It was then that they were told of the bride.  She was dressed in her gown coming down the stairs when she tripped and fell down the rest, breaking her neck and dying.

Baby in the well

Baby in the Well

My grandparents were in a new state looking for a new house to stay while they worked.  They were to meet their new landlords on a piece of property.  This property had a well and after an afternoon of running around my mom and her brothers were thirsty.

They went to the well and started to pull the bucket up.  As they pulled on the rope they started to hear a baby crying.  They were the only ones on the property and no babies were around.  The more they pulled on the rope the louder the crying became.

They finally looked in the well and saw a baby, crying and screaming.  It began reaching out to grab them.  They screamed let go of the rope, dropping the baby back into the well, water splashing everywhere.

The landlord finally arrived to find a bunch of wet, scared kids.  They told the story of what happened.  He explained several years ago a new mother was trying to get water out of the well and the baby slipped out of her hands and drowned in the well.

Little Witch at School

My mom was bullied in school on a regular basis.  One day she was tormented on the playground to the point where she started sobbing and ran away to the bathroom.  The bathroom, according to her, was never used because everyone claimed it was haunted.  She was so upset she didn't care that she ran into the haunted bathroom, she just wanted to get away from everybody.  While she sat sobbing on the toilet she heard a cackle and saw a miniature witch flying around her.

House in the Woods

Most people grew up getting bedtime stories.  These bedtime stories are usually fun, heartwarming stories to help the child feel good before bed.  I didn't get those growing up.  If I got a story they were usually scary stories (maybe that's why I enjoy watching horror movies).  Over the next several posts I'm going to do my best to tell those stories so they don't get lost in time.

First I need to explain some things about my mother's background.  She is the second oldest of eight kids.  Her parents were migrant workers by trade and would travel where the work was.  Sometimes their "houses" were a little run down, in many instances barely livable.

Add this to the fact that us Mexicans are very superstitious, my mother had a lot of very creepy stories for us growing up.  She claims these are true stories and that they happened to her over the course of her childhood in various locations throughout the US, mostly in the south and midwest.

House in the Woods

As migrant workers my grandparents were sometimes given free places to stay to help offset some of the expenses.  One particular house they stayed at was a one bedroom shack in the middle of the woods. This shack, from the descriptions given to me, was essentially boards held together with some form of roofing.  There was no insulation, just a frame and a roof protecting them.  There were many holes in the walls and you could easily peer outside from the room.  The eight children stayed in the room while the adults stayed in the other room.

One particular night my grandparents had some guests over so they sent my mom and her siblings to the room a little early.  The children entertained themselves talking, joking and having a grand old time.  During all the fun and commotion my mom felt someone was watching them.  She looked around the room to find an eye peering through one of the holes in the wall.  She screamed, everyone turned and saw an eye looking at them.

At this point all the children began screaming in terror.  Their dad, my grandpa, became extremely pissed off at them.  He came storming into the room and started yelling at them.  When they explained what they saw my grandpa grabbed a gun and ran outside the house to look for the peeping tom.  The guests there also helped him search.  

After looking around the house and surrounding woods, they found nothing.  No footprints leading towards the house or away from the house.  The only thing they found were two hoof prints in the moist ground where the children had seen the eye.

To this day my mom firmly believes the devil was watching them that night.

Want a diddly-deal with me?

Venting session

Tonight was a slow night in the ER considering it's a Sunday night.  Usually we are busting at the seams with wait times up to 1.5 hours to get a room and 2 hours to be seen.  There were several occasions where There was nobody in the waiting room.  All night we had empty rooms, which is good.  I was able to enjoy watching a few football games which made for nice.

My shift is from 11am to 11pm.  The person in charge closes 4 rooms by 11pm because lack of nursing staff to keep them open.  Depending on the doctor and patient flow they start closing these rooms between 9 and 9:30.

My assignment tonight was the section that gets closed off early.  I discharged my last patient at 9:30.  We have 15 open beds in the ER, 11 if you claim my four rooms closed.  With my shift ending, I assumed I would be sent home because you can't justify the staffing (we had 2 float nurses after 7pm).  The coworkers next to me had a total of 3 patients to 2 nurses.

I wait around for 15 minutes for the "you can go home" from the charge nurse.  I finally decide to walk around to see if anybody needed help (nobody did, we had 2 other nurses helping out).

After another few minutes I'm told I will be getting an ambulance.  I know I look dumbfounded.  As I said above, my section should have been closed by this point, even with a fast doctor.  Because I am who I am instead of asking why not send that ambulance to one of the other nurses and send me home, I say OK and go wait for them.

By the time the ambulance arrives I had zero patients for more than half an hour.  Every nurse in the ER had only 2 patients to care for.  I do my job, take care of the patient, and less than 10 minutes later we are just waiting on CT results.  I'm done documenting on this patient by 1015, 45 minutes until the end of my shift.

Still waiting to get sent home.  Nothing.  I go kill time elsewhere.  By 1030pm I'm completely pissed off.  There are no ambulances out, no patients in the lobby, and every nurse has 2 patients to care for (except me, remember, I have one patient and 3 closed rooms at this time).

I decide to make myself scarce so the charge nurse doesn't find me.  Why bother going home?  My shift is over in less than 30 minutes and I'm not allowed to refuse being sent home early (that I know of).

By the time 11pm rolls around I'm beyond frustrated.  I could have gone home early and spent some time with my wife before she fell asleep, even if it was just watching TV.  That's better than not seeing her until she gets home from work tomorrow (we work opposite schedules, I sometimes go for several days without seeing her).

I give report on my patient to the nurse relieving me and I make my way to the break room.  I am very passive aggressive.  I would rather avoid confrontation and not make a scene.  The only thing I can do to be spiteful is get paid to sit.

We work 12 hour shifts.  If you take a 30 minute lunch break you need to stay until 30 minutes after your shift is over in order to get a paid lunch break.  For me I have to clock out at 11:30 to get that paid lunch.  Most of the time I would rather clock out and head home.  I'm too awake and pissed off to want to go home.

My passive aggressive self sat for 30 minutes in our break room so I could get a paid lunch break.  All in the name of spite.  No it didn't make me feel any better but at least I got paid to play on my phone for 30 minutes.

Speaking of taking a break, the overnight crew works from 7p-7a.  Typical in our line of work.  They regularly have potluck dinners because that's what they do.  They have recently started waiting to bring out their potluck food until after 11pm, when all the day shift people are gone.  No big deal, I'm leaving anyway.

During my spiteful sitting tonight one of the night shifters comes into the break room and notices all the food in the crockpot is gone.  This is just barely after 11pm.  She commented "See, this is why we don't bring the food out until after day shift is gone, they eat all the food."

Talk about rubbing me the wrong way after already being in a pissy mood.  I was the only "day" shift staff in the ER at this point.  The others left at 7pm and the one who came in at 11am with me went home sick.  The night shift had eaten all the food.  I hadn't been in the break room for more than 5 minutes when this was said and most of the food was already gone before I even came in.

All I wanted to say was "Fuck you, your overnight people ate all the food."  But what good would that do?  I decided to keep my mouth shut and stare at the phone.  Only 15 minutes until I could leave with my passive aggressive boycott for not getting sent home early.

I survived the night without saying too much.  It took a lot out of me.

Oh the things I would say

I try to be a happy guy. I like to think I'm approachable, and I definitely try to be friendly to everyone.  Around people I know I can be very chatty and slaphappy.

I also like to think of myself as a very patient person.  Definitely no saint but a fuse long enough that it usually fizzles out before anything happens.

Because my fuse is fairly long I can usually tell when I'm starting to get upset and I do what I can to remove myself from the situation.

Usually I walk away, if that's not possible I'll try to make a joke of the situation (usually at work, especially when it's a patient that has pushed me over the edge).

Unlike the Incredible Hulk it doesn't have a lot to do with "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" but more I don't like how I feel.  Yes I care about your feelings to an extent but deeper than that, I care about how I will react.

Just like many other people when I become angry everything I've been thinking about that person boils to the surface.  It becomes extremely difficult to control when it does start to come out.  Everything I've wanted to say to the person that has by this point pissed me off is on the tip of my tongue.  When I get to this point I can feel my heart racing and I'm ready to go off.


I don't like this.  I don't like losing control of myself.  I would hate to say something in anger, true or not, because once it's out you can't take it back.

If I get to this point I get quiet.  I stop talking because, once again, I don't want to say anything that I will regret.  After getting quiet I remove myself from the situation and away from the person that has pushed me over the edge.

Most of the time I'm successful, occasionally I'm not.

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much.  Sometimes I wish I could just say everything that I feel needs to be said.  I do care though and if I'm going to say what's on my mind it will be a civil conversation.

Today's society seemingly encourages you to not care about other people's feelings and to an extent they are right.  If you piss someone off for being who you are or saying what you think who cares, right?  No skin off your back if they are offended.

Though I agree that this manner of thinking helps you be yourself (Fitz and the Tantrums The Walker, great song), I feel that overall it's making us insensitive.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I do care what others think about me.  In my mind when I lose my anger/temper in front of them and go off I lose their respect.  I would rather be respected.

In the case where family pushed me to my breaking point, I like to think I forgive quickly.  If I attack them verbally because they made me angry, forgiveness can become much more difficult.  I would rather not put them in that situation. I would rather remain amicable with my family (immediate, extended, and married into) so family gatherings don't get awkward on account of me.

The epitome of family gathering awkwardness

The Wall

So we all know Trump is planning on building a wall between the US and Mexico border.  I even joked about it in a previous post (see joking with the parents).

I was watching Arrested Development the other night.  Definitely one of the best shows they took off the air, scoring a solid 89% on Metacritic and an 83% on Rotten Tomatoes.  And of course this is in my opinion, if you like comedy you need to watch this show.  As I tell all people about this show, they build up the jokes in the beginning so the end is hilarious.  They also build up jokes throughout the series that lend a hand to some of the hilarity in later seasons.  You can't jump in the middle of a show and miss half of what they built up because then you won't know what they're joking about.

Anyway, back to a theory I have.  Slight spoilers, nothing serious if you want to continue reading.  In Season 4, Episode 2 George Bluth Sr. steals plans from a competitor (they are property developers) for what he thinks is a monument dedicated to George W. Bush.  It's revealed later that his wife Lucille originally had the idea and it actually a wall, not a monument, that is to be built on the border between California and Mexico to prevent illegals from entering the US.

So, where did Trump come up with his idea?  Maybe someone on his team saw the show (they do have lives outside their campaign, I think) and shot the idea to The Donald?  Who knows, but now you'll be wondering the same thing (especially if the wall is built).

Tattoos

I took care of a 16-year-old girl the other day. Somehow we got on the subject of tattoos and she asked if I had any.  Quick answer is no.  Naturally her follow up question was why not.

Honestly the main reason I won't get a tattoo are my beliefs.  As Mormons we are taught from a young age that we should "respect our bodies as a gift from God" and "not disfigure ourselves with tattoos or body piercings." Knowing it's unethical to share my beliefs to patients (unless they ask), I gave another reason.

I've had similar conversations with my friends and coworkers.  When my colleagues ask if I'm going to get a tattoo I usually say I'm not interested.  When they insist on having more of an explanation than that I bring up the cost.

The better and more intricate the design (and having a good tattoo artist) can get pricy quickly.  I recently treated a patient in the emergency room with a nice piece of body art covering the side of her body. She admitted it cost her $350.  Several coworkers have admittedly spent over $500 for their designs.  I even found an article that will help you estimate how much your tattoo will cost.  Not to mention a botched tattoo coverup cost (or living with an ex's name/face tattooed on you).

I love to travel and I do it as frequently as I can.  For the amount of money I would drop on a tattoo I can do a lot of things (assuming I have $500 to drop on a tattoo).  From where I live I can go to NYC for a day (with extra money to go to the bathroom in case you aren't near any of the free ones), do a Segway tour of DC (when my kids are older), spend a few days at Ocean City or Virginia Beach, go to the Grand Canyon of PA, rent a cabin for a weekend in the Smoky Mountains, etc.  The longer I think about it the more trip ideas I can come up with.  I could even take a photography class online so I can take (and edit) better pictures for when I do get to these places (most of them are already on my 5 year vacation/day trip plans, some of these may come as a surprise to my wife).

Admittedly I thought about getting a tattoo at one point in my life.  And if I didn't feel strongly about my beliefs I would probably get a Disney themed or a Star Wars themed one.  I would definitely drop the money to have the light sabers with a UV glow to it.  But the combination of my beliefs and my desire to travel is much greater than getting a tattoo.

I don't care if you have tattoos and I will admire the new tattoos that are shown to me because, once again, most are fun to look at.  Many people like showing off their new body art because they are excited about it and who am I to rain on their parade?

Joking with the parents

Some background, I am American-Mexican (I know most of the United States says Mexican-American, just ask Cheech and Chong) but I am American first, of Mexican heritage.

Continuing, sometimes jokes go over my parent's head.  The only thing worse than telling a bad joke is having to explain why the bad joke is funny.

I told a joke that was (in my opinion) hilarious.  As much as I want to take credit for this joke it has to go to Gary Johnson.

Here goes (I'll use a pic):

My parents don't follow politics too closely but they are usually in tune to the major things (like Trump building a wall type stuff).  Unfortunately for me I had to explain this joke to my mom.  She starts laughing uncontrollably. She likes the joke so much (now that she understands) that she passes the phone to my dad and tells me to tell him.

I repeat the joke to my dad.  He also doesn't get it.  He is usually a little more up to speed with politics than my mom.  Unfortunately I had to explain the joke to him as well.  

 Instead of laughing at the joke he asked me "why would the Mexicans pole vault when they normally dig tunnels?"

I got to admit, this caught me off guard.  He has done this before, catching me off guard with his jokes/statements.  He once told me our family couldn't be called wetbacks because we crossed the Rio Grande when it was ankle deep (just to clarify, both me and my parents were born in the US, just a joke).

Smoke Breaks

I consider myself a team player.  I'll jump in and help you if I see you're drowning as long as I am available.  I don't expect you to reciprocate, especially if I'm already familiar with your work ethic (most of my coworkers become extremely frustrated if I ask for help, even if all they have to do is discharge a patient and send them home).

There are some things that are beyond frustrating that have happened lately while trying to help.  The one that pushed me over the edge was a smoke break.

Here's the situation.  I'm working the the "urgent care" section of the ED (Rapid Medical Evaluation in my hospital, sometimes known as Minor Care).  One of my coworkers in the acute side of the ED receives an ambulance (respiratory distress) and has 2 other patients, one of whom they are trying to determine if he has a heart attack.

The Charge Nurse asks me to leave my area and help my coworker.  I get there and she is taking care of the respiratory distress. I'm asked to watch her other two patients. The rule out heart attack needs a second IV started along with a heparin drip (blood thinner) and a nitro drip (vasodilator, makes blood flow easier).  No problem.  I get that going in less than 10 minutes (including all the documentation and explanations to the patient).

Because I am who I am, I take over the care of her other patient as well.  I make sure they are situated, comfortable, and I explain what is going on with their care.  Time passes (about 30 minutes from when I get there) and she steps out of the room she has been frantically working in.  I give her updates on her other patients.  They are settled, just waiting for admission orders (heart attack) and discharge orders (the other patient).  I'm told to stick around for a while until the respiratory distress is more stable. No problem.

More time passes, the doctors involved with the heart attack patient continue to ask me for updates and I continue to help.  I discharge the other patient.  The next time I see her she is grabbing her cigarettes and leaving on a smoke break.  I ask her who is going to watch her patients (remember, this is not my assignment, I'm supposed in the "minor care", just keeping her afloat so she doesn't come back to a nightmare of orders).  She rambles off that someone else is going to watch her people and runs off.

Seriously?  I've been watching her people for 45 minutes at this point and she suddenly have enough time for a smoke break? I still haven't given her report on her other patients so she can officially resume care of them.  I am still answering questions from the doctors for her cardiac patient yet she has enough time for a "breathing treatment"? Unbelievable.

The worst part of this situation is reporting this incident.  It's beyond ridiculous that she did this. Unfortunately the charge nurse is in no position to help because he was a substitute.  Even so, our current boss doesn't know how to confront people (instead of writing people up for playing Pokemon in the ER he sent yet another reminder we aren't supposed to have cell phones, easily narrowed to 2 people on the overnight shift).

So what about confronting the person who went to smoke? Can't bring it up to her because in her mind her people were covered so she did nothing wrong.

Honestly by the time I'm writing this I'm mostly over the situation.  Obviously it still bothers me a bit but for the most part I'm over it.  There's nothing I can do and at this point it's far from everyone else's mind.

Life goes on.

They asked me to stay late that night to help relieve lunches.  I agreed to remain long enough to transport the patients that were admitted but did not want to do any lunches, especially my smoking friend.

Politics and the ER

Politics is a very touchy subject. It can make or break friendships and relationships.  It's not uncommon for people in the workplace to have different political views.

Same goes for the Emergency Department.  While working there we develop a camaraderie that plays into helping the patients, especially traumas, overdoses, heart attacks, etc.  Bringing politics into the workplace can be especially tricky.  I can't take credit for these words but I want to share them.  I can't state this any better.

A plea to all my FB friends in healthcare: As the political season continues to heat up, can we please, please, please at least try and keep politics out of our professional lives? I know what my views are on things, and understand that not everyone feels the same way that I do. That being said, I also appreciate that people's individual political views are as much a part of what makes them unique individuals as their love of their career, their love of family, their hair and eye color, and all their other facets do. I may not agree with you, but that does not make you less of a person in my eyes. For me, what is more important than who you think should be running for a political office is that when the chips are down and someone else's life hangs in the balance, you will have my back and I will have yours. Very few people go into any of the healthcare professions for fame, money, or because they believe that some people are more special than others. The reality is that for most of us, caring for others is a core value that shapes who we are, and why we do what we do every day. No matter what happens in November, this will not change. The other thing that will not change is that we will still have to work together, supporting each other as we work to save lives and help our fellow humans through some of the worst moments of their lives. We are all on this roller coaster ride of life together, and in the end ALL lives matter, which is why we do what we do. Please let's not allow ourselves to forget that in the coming months.

At the end of the day, do you have my back to help save a life, even if we don't agree politically?

The other night

I like to think myself a happy person. I really try to make it a point to stay positive. Unfortunately I have nights like yesterday where I feel like I get shat on.

Working in the ER is a complex beast. You have to be able to juggle a lot of situations at the same time and you have to be able to prioritize what comes first.  If a person isn't breathing they take precedence over someone with a sprained ankle (obviously). Sometimes it gets sketchy. What if you have multiple people who are very ill and an attention seeking drunk? Security isn't available to help you out.

This was very similar to my situation the other day. I get 2 ambulances at the same time. I help one person who doesn't have lung sounds and the oxygen saturation is 40% (that should be above 93%). As I am trying to get her stable and increase her blood oxygen my drunken ambulance starts wandering around the nurses station screaming "I need help, doesn't anyone care if I die?" 

Going back to the complex beast that is the ER, I am in a section where help is nonexistent at this time. I work with multiple other nurses who need so much help that it takes 2 people to do what one nurse should be able to manage on her own. The techs that work with us cannot get to me because they are being utilized by other nurses and the charge nurse is doing something else.

I am able to take care of both patients (and my other 2 less needy but just as sick patients) but by the end of the night I am just shy of yelling at my drunken attention seeking butthole. At one point after I tell him to get back in his room and get in bed he asked me "Just who do you think you're talking to?" I replied "A noncompliant patient who can't follow simple instructions to stay in bed." (security isn't available to help keep him in bed).

My patience was very thin at the end of the night. I am very grateful for the understanding my other patients had with the situation.

This is a situation that happens regularly. Occasionally I will get help from my peers and depending on what is going on I will sometimes get quite a bit of assistance. The problem is I usually get forgotten and dumped on.  I don't complain when I get a lot of sick patients. I do my job. I don't complain (a lot) when I have 4 patients when others have 1 or 2.  Maybe this is why it continues to happen to me.

Will I complain, probably not to anybody in charge. Mostly because I know I can handle the situations they throw at me. If I do get to a point where I'm drowning there are a few people that will come to my assistance.

Besides, when it comes down to it, I like my job. I don't want to be known as a "trouble maker". I do my job (most of the time well in my opinion) and I try to have fun.  I can see myself doing this for quite some time.

Tipping

Merriam-Webster defines gratuity as something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service.

That being said, tipping is tricky.  There are some basic guidelines like servers usually get a 15% tip for average service. For the most part this is common knowledge.  But what to do if the service was truly horrible?

Recently I went on a dinner cruise down the Cincinnati. We were seated by 630 and we didn't see our server until almost 7. We placed our drink order at that time and we didn't get those for 45 minutes. My brother pointed out that the server forgot his drink and after that the server mostly paid attention to my brother (the server was obviously gay, maybe he was hitting on my brother).  It was like this the rest of the night, we basically had to hunt him down to get any kind of service.

This isn't the only time I've had horrible service.  Once our waitress told us she was new to this and would do her best. I would expect nothing less and I'm definitely OK with a new waitress in training. She proceeded to tell the next table she had been doing this for almost a year. Long and frustrating story short, it took us almost 3 hours before we were finally able to leave. Talk about a waste of time (and the floor manager was useless).

A google search reveals we should always leave something, anything.  Officially I find nothing that states what should be done in this situation. That's too bad because I think if service is more than lacking somewhere I should be able to withhold their gratuity.

During this google search I did find an interesting tip guide at www.tipping.org. It has quite a bit of tipping etiquette on services I didn't know had an appropriate etiquette (specifically speaking, I had no clue there was proper etiquette for tipping at an exotic club. Did you know you should pay $3 tip per song when you are sitting next to the stage? Not including a tip for any fun moves you see. And if you pay for a private dance you should still tip them after the performance).

Musical!

Merriam-Webster gives a simple definition of a musical as a movie or play that tells a story with songs and often dancing.

Musicals are great. You can claim you don't like them but I bet there is one that you enjoy more than you're going to admit.  I enjoy several musicals myself and my wife does as well.  We do, however, have a hard time agreeing on what is considered a musical and whether or not we want to watch it together.

I've decided to compile a list of some of my favorite musicals. These are in no particular order, just as they come to mind.

The Sound of Music

I don't know of anybody who doesn't know of this movie. Several have not seen it, and I understand. Old musicals are not everyone's cup of tea. Time period movies (can WWII be considered a time period movie?). The Von Trapps have amazing talent. This movie is based on the true story of the Von Trapps family, crazy to think. Truth be told I made it halfway through the movie and woke up at the end but I still do enjoy the music.

Grease

Who doesn't like a good musical about changing your values to woo the person you have a crush on? Forget about being true to yourself and forget about them liking you for who you are. By the end of this film both Olivia Newton John and John Travolta change who they are to impress the other. You'll start off innocently with "Summer Nights". By "Greased Lightning" you'll be wondering "why haven't I fallen for this hip cat? All your values will be out the window when you sing along to "You're the one that I want".

My wife may have a hard time getting me to watch this movie but I usually end up singing along to it.  I usually find myself singing along to the music when it pops up on my playlist (her playlist.....).

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

No, I'm not talking about the newer one with Johnny Depp. That one wasn't great. The original with Gene Wilder.  Between the Oompa songs and Gene Wilder's creepy boat ride, what's not to like? Besides all the other events leading up to the Chocolate Factory.

DISNEY!

No list with musicals can be complete without some mention of Disney. They have left a huge mark on the world of musicals. Some were great (Lion King anyone?) and some were not so great (Pocahontas, decent music but didn't like it). This deserves a list on it's own but I'm putting a quick compilation here for now.

Lion King

Growing up we had some regular guests in our house that would demand we watch "El Rey Leon" all the time. They were toddlers and I was a teenager. As much as I enjoyed the movie and the music it became extremely frustrating hearing it all the time. Having 2 kids I now completely understand the persistent demands to watch the same thing over and over. But it's still a great movie with great music.

Aladdin

I watched this movie so many times my brothers and I would choose characters to quote and we would do our best to imitate the voices and songs. We didn't always get all the words to the songs right, and I still probably sing the same wrong words now.  My children don't have the same fond memories I have of this movie but that doesn't stop me from trying.

Little Mermaid

The 90s were a great decade for Disney. The summer before my senior year some friends of mine had a stage play and put on their version of Kiss the Girl. Oh, if only I had a camera. I can't put into words the way they portrayed this song. 2 guys (one with a wig) in a small kiddie pool and 6 others dancing around them in circles using straws to make the the appearance of the fountains in the blue lagoon (missing on purpose and spitting the water onto "Eric" and "Ariel").

Beauty and the Beast

Kids don't understand Stockholm Syndrome and why should they? I don't believe this is about the captive Belle falling in love with the captor Beast, it's a typical love story told by Disney. Beeftony (anybody else picturing Cartman's Beefcake?), another blogger, agrees that it isn't Stockholm Syndrome, you can read his arguments here.  This is still a great movie and I'm excited to see Emma Watson play Belle.

And in case you've been living under a rock, here is a link to the teaser trailer.

Rio

It's time to move on from Disney movies (there are still multiple movies I did not mention). This movie was terrific. I don't often buy soundtracks to movies but after seeing this I bought the soundtrack. Watching my 3 year old (or was she 4?) daughter pretend to be a bird in her carseat flapping her arms to the song Hot Wings (I wanna Party) was adorable.  Personally I like Nigel's song better.

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Straying away from what my wife considers a musical, this is by far one I can watch over and over again. The bluegrass twang of the music and George Clooney's best role (according to me, my mother in law prefers Ocean's 11) make this movie terrific. The Siren's Song was my favorite, I love when voices harmonize and the way the trio acts around the lovely Siren's is great. The Coens admitted this movie was loosely based on Homer's Odyssey, and the website Quora made side by side comparison to help us understand the likeness (this helped me a lot because when I was supposed to read this in college I made it through the first line and fell asleep). This movie is great to quote along to as well.

The Blues Brothers

I'm going out on a limb to say this is by far my favorite musical.  The plot of the movie sends the Blues Brothers, Jake and Elwood (played by Belushi and Ackroyd), "on a mission from God" to save the orphanage they grew up in.  The stellar cast also included Carrie Fisher, John Candy, and Henry Gibson with guest appearances by James Brown, Aretha Franklin, and Ray Charles (to name a few). It was the first Saturday Night Live sketch to be made into a movie and it was the second most successful one (first being Wayne's World).  This movie is a must watch for anybody. Their website (just found out it existed) is full of information regarding the legacy that is The Blues Brothers. I purchased their CD at one point and it was one of my favorites (unfortunately it didn't survive during my 2 years as a missionary, my brothers scratched it beyond repair).

Homeless

I went as a family to Niagara Falls. I loved it. There were many aspects I would love to do again (time and mostly money permitting).

As we walked to the Falls on our first day we walked past a homeless man. My daughter is very concerned with him and wants me to give him some cash.  I have many problems with this to begin with.

After my daughter saw this homeless man in Canada she asked why I wasn't helping him. I love that my daughter has a huge heart and wants to help everybody. I had a hard time trying to explain why I didn't want to give this man cash. What I could explain was don't know this man. I don't know his story. I don't know why he's homeless. This much was easy to explain to my daughter.

I continued explaining that if this guy needed medicine to help him keep a job he all he needed to do was find a hospital and talk to a doctor. I told her medicine was free for everybody in Canada. All this homeless man needed to do was find a hospital and get an appointment. Fortunately for me the conversation was cut short because we arrived to Niagara Falls and she got distracted.

I'm glad this conversation was cut short. How do you explain to an 8 year old girl the long waits? How do you tell them that care can be delayed because of it? I am definitely no expert in the Canadian medical system but I do know it's free.

This is not the first time we have seen a homeless man. This is not the first time she wanted me to help a homeless man. Sometimes I can and I do. I hate with a passion giving them cash, loose change or bills. One of the last times I gave somebody cash was when I lived in Chile.

In Chile I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Yes, I was one of the Mormon missionaries that would knock on your door.  Several people in the poorer sections of Santiago believed all missionaries were from America and had cash. This is beyond true. That didn't stop the homeless people in the area from asking and begging for money.

The first few months I was there I would toss them a few extra coins I had. My companions would advise me against it but I thought I was helping them. The longer I was there, the more I noticed cheap wine boxes in their hands. I smelled the alcohol on their breath more frequently. I noticed their unsteady gait as they walked towards me to beg for the cash.

I became frustrated with the thought they were asking for money to buy alcohol. It was abhorring.  Though I didn't become bitter at their begging, I began refusing them money. I would turn them away and tell them to keep walking.

About 6 months into my mission (men usually serve 2 years) my companion taught me something, something I continue to use. Christ lived a perfect life. Christ never turned away anybody regardless of their circumstances.  He would always teach by example and as missionaries He was (and still is) our perfect example. My companion taught me instead of refusing these men, offer them something homeless people would need: food and a spiritual thought.

When a homeless person would come by and beg for change we would politely inform them we did not have money to spare. This was no lie, as missionaries we have enough to feed ourselves and pay for bus fare as needed. Instead we would offer to buy them a loaf of bread with some butter and pate (a cheap meat spread, pretty tasty) from the corner store.

It surprised me how frequently the homeless people refused a free sandwich. But I felt better about myself since I was offering something they needed. Their refusal made it their choice not to eat.

Fast forward to present day and time.  I've been working as a nurse in the Emergency Department for 3 years now. We help anybody and everybody who walks through the door, regardless of their complaint. Many homeless people come through the department for various reasons. Many of them have positive drug screens or elevated alcohol levels. Sometimes both. Though they may be homeless their peddling for money gives them enough to continue their drug habits.

I continue to try and help the homeless where I can. I refuse to give them cash. I will give them food when and where I can. I have occasionally purchased extra meals from McDonald's to give to homeless people. Sometimes I give them coupons for free food.

I am not trying to tell you how to help the homeless. Just letting you know how I prefer to help them.

Sweet Parenting Necessities

I've been a parent for 8 years. I must admit there are a LOT of things I wish were available when I was looking for things to go with my special baby.  Here is a list for you in case you're wondering.  I put the links in case you're looking where to buy them.  I'm sure there will be more things to add to the list at some point, scrolling through I found many interesting other items for toddlers, I'm sure that'll be a post one day.  Enjoy!

NoseFrida

Baby has a cold? Suffering his (or her) first round of allergies?  What better way to clear the nose than suck it out yourself? Who knows how much suction those bulbs do? As a plus you get a salty little treat while baby gets to breathe easier!

http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/entertainment/kids/nosefrida-the-snotsucker-nasal-aspirator.asp

Windi the Gasser

From the makers of Nosefrida comes Windi the Gasser.  Every kid gets the Colic. This can be extremely frustrating. Sometimes nothing seems to help (belly rubs and moving the legs around helped our a bit but not always). What to do? Insert a straw to help get the gas out. Careful about the poop coming out!

http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/household/miscellaneous/windi-the-gaspasser-gas-colic-reliever.asp

Bowser baby carrier

Everybody needs to carry their young baby around.  This shows everybody you care while at the same time telling them touching is prohibited without permission (see the spikes, means no touch!)

https://www.etsy.com/listing/254757951/new-king-bowser-koopa-universal-baby?source=aw&awc=6220_1462243610_8cc9c6c1f9a01ca987f60c9a45eca908&utm_source=affiliate_window&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=us_location_buyer&utm_content=226441

Mustache Pacifier

Every kid needs a pacifier, especially when the boob needs a break.  Why not give the kid a mustache while you're at it?  Those milk mustaches are so cliche.

http://www.amazon.com/Mustache-Pacifier-Unique-Baby-Shower/dp/B015ESTKEY/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_12?ie=UTF8&refRID=0NG2WYKBPRBDSN9A41HM

Tactical Diaper Bag

Every new parent needs a diaper bag.  Don't get those flowery diaper bags that everyone has (yes I got one, my wife didn't give me an option).  This is the diaper bag every man (and woman) needs. 

 In addition to carrying pouches for snacks, diapers, wipes, and baby bottle storage, the changing mat has an extra pouch to hold the diaper. This becomes extremely useful when trying to change the diaper quickly.  You can wipe the mat down easily (especially useful when the baby has a blowout, and those cute little baby bottoms will most certainly cause poop to explode out the diaper).

http://www.amazon.com/Tactical-Baby-Gear-Military-Changing/dp/B01A61KFIO/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1463193687&sr=1-1&keywords=tactical+diaper+bag&refinements=p_72%3A1248867011

Zombie Doll

Every baby needs a cute little stuffed toy to cuddle when snuggling next to mommy (or daddy) isn't possible.  Something they relate to comfort when the babysitter arrives.  Why not the zombie doll?  I can just imagine Grandma watching in horror as baby starts teething on the zombies head.  Oh the joy (I mean horror).

http://www.amazon.com/Plush-Zombie-Undead-Stuffed-Toy/dp/B01AKNC6NA/ref=sr_1_24?ie=UTF8&qid=1463195094&sr=8-24&keywords=zombie+baby

Coulrophobia

Coulrophobia is the clinical word for the fear of clowns.  Somebody you know has this, even me, and it affects them on different levels.

At this point in my life it's more of a running joke.  To others the fear of clowns is so gripping they become paralyzed at the sight while others go into panic mode.

There are still several clowns out there that will always give me the creeps for various reasons.  This is my list of clowns that have terrorized my dreams in various forms (some worse than others).

6. Killer Klowns from Outer Space

This campy movie was hilarious in many ways.  It was never meant to be taken seriously (that I know of). The first time I watched it was late night on basic cable while my parents thought we were sleeping in the other room visiting my uncles.  The random bits of gory killings were funny but the part that creeped me out was the cotton candy cocoons they would wrap you to preserve you for later.  Overall these clowns were funny but still made my 11 year old skin crawl.

5. Zombieland Clown

Columbus (Jesse Eisenburg) has Coulrophobia as well.  One of his biggest fears is clowns.  In order to save his friends at the end of the movie he has to face his biggest fear, a zombie clown.  Though I was an adult when I saw this movie the face alone haunts me.

4. Twisty the clown

American Horror Story knows how to make you feel uneasy. They know how to find your fear and bring it to life. Their season Freakshow gives us Twisty. His silence, his eyes, clothing, everything about him will make you want to run and scream.  His background is sad (watch it to find out) but his actions say differently.

3. John Wayne Gacy

This man is probably where killer clowns originated.  He was a sexual predator and serial killer with at least 33 murders to his name.  When he wasn't luring boys to his home to kill he would volunteer as Pogo the Clown at fundraisers, children's parties, and parades.  The man is pure evil and is part of the reason I have clown issues.

2. Pennywise

Stephen King has a knack for creeping everybody out. Pennywise is no exception. He terrorizes a group of kids through adulthood.  His demonic presence terrified me while reading the book and for some reason I decided to watch the movie as well.

1. Poltergeist Stuffed Clown

Growing up my parents had a couch that had an opening large enough for a 7 year old to crawl under and watch movies only the adults were watching.  I wanted to see the movie all the adults were watching.  This clown coming to life and attempting to strangle the boy, laughing all the while, gave me countless nightmares.

There you have my list.  Scary clowns that give me the creeps.