Oh the things I would say

I try to be a happy guy. I like to think I'm approachable, and I definitely try to be friendly to everyone.  Around people I know I can be very chatty and slaphappy.

I also like to think of myself as a very patient person.  Definitely no saint but a fuse long enough that it usually fizzles out before anything happens.

Because my fuse is fairly long I can usually tell when I'm starting to get upset and I do what I can to remove myself from the situation.

Usually I walk away, if that's not possible I'll try to make a joke of the situation (usually at work, especially when it's a patient that has pushed me over the edge).

Unlike the Incredible Hulk it doesn't have a lot to do with "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" but more I don't like how I feel.  Yes I care about your feelings to an extent but deeper than that, I care about how I will react.

Just like many other people when I become angry everything I've been thinking about that person boils to the surface.  It becomes extremely difficult to control when it does start to come out.  Everything I've wanted to say to the person that has by this point pissed me off is on the tip of my tongue.  When I get to this point I can feel my heart racing and I'm ready to go off.


I don't like this.  I don't like losing control of myself.  I would hate to say something in anger, true or not, because once it's out you can't take it back.

If I get to this point I get quiet.  I stop talking because, once again, I don't want to say anything that I will regret.  After getting quiet I remove myself from the situation and away from the person that has pushed me over the edge.

Most of the time I'm successful, occasionally I'm not.

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much.  Sometimes I wish I could just say everything that I feel needs to be said.  I do care though and if I'm going to say what's on my mind it will be a civil conversation.

Today's society seemingly encourages you to not care about other people's feelings and to an extent they are right.  If you piss someone off for being who you are or saying what you think who cares, right?  No skin off your back if they are offended.

Though I agree that this manner of thinking helps you be yourself (Fitz and the Tantrums The Walker, great song), I feel that overall it's making us insensitive.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I do care what others think about me.  In my mind when I lose my anger/temper in front of them and go off I lose their respect.  I would rather be respected.

In the case where family pushed me to my breaking point, I like to think I forgive quickly.  If I attack them verbally because they made me angry, forgiveness can become much more difficult.  I would rather not put them in that situation. I would rather remain amicable with my family (immediate, extended, and married into) so family gatherings don't get awkward on account of me.

The epitome of family gathering awkwardness