Uh, Hell No!

I feel violated.

I received a female patient today from the local jail who was vomiting and a heart rate in the 40s (should be at least 60, maybe 50s for someone who exercises regularly and I think the only exercise this patient did was taking a spoon to her mouth).  Officers are in the room telling her to be patient while we do our job.

I can tell this patient is going to be time consuming because as she was going to vomit she would purposely vomit on the floor.  How do I know this you ask?  She was given two different emesis basins and instead of using them she leaned over the bed on vomited on the floor (classy).

Considering the circumstances I needed to start an IV to help her get fluids, etc.  I get my other patients situated so I can spend time in her room knowing it will be time consuming.  By the time I return the guards are gone and she informs me she can leave whenever because she is no longer in the custody of the police.

She claimed she wasn't interested in leaving and she wanted treatment.  I proceed to tie a tourniquet and stretch her arm out to look for a vein.

Here's where the violation starts.  The picture below is how to search for a vein (if you have a table to assist in keeping the arm straight).  In the ED this is seldom available so we use our bodies (at least I do) to help keep the arm outstretched while searching.

Veins are spongy and will bounce back to normal, arteries have pulses, that's how you differentiate.

The way she is positioned she is able to use her fingertips to touch the inside of my arm (gentle brushing, obviously flirting type), then reached up and touched my chest.  I tell her to stop and to act appropriate during the process if she wanted me to continue.

She stops, I move to look for a vein in the other arm.  Since I am now on her left arm I need to stretch out her arm and lay it in my lap (I start IVs with my right arm, searching for veins with the left).  At this point she took complete advantage of the situation.  She started feeling up my leg working her way up my leg.  Fortunately for me my wallet was in the pocket; she got distracted and tried to remove take the wallet instead.  

As quickly as possible I removed the tourniquet and stand up.  As I was standing up she reached up to my chest again and grabbed the trauma shears out of my pocket, asking if she could keep it.  I yank it out of her hands, remove all sharp objects from her reach and tell her that she is not welcome in the ED if she won't act appropriately.  I reminded her she was no longer in police custody so she could walk out whenever and left the room.

My coworkers (being the great friends they are) immediately pointed out she was in jail and just wanted to touch a man again.  Thanks guys.  She had only been incarcerated less than 36 hours by this point.  I've gone longer than that without seeing my wife (though she will probably claim I do the same thing if I've gone that long without seeing her).

This patient ended up walking out of the room and shat herself in the lobby in front of everyone, then demanded a change of clothes before she would leave.  Paper scrubs were happily provided to get rid of her.

Again, I feel so violated. 

On a side note, I told my coworkers this story and they got confused with the word shat.  It is the past tense of shit, in case you didn't know.  My patient shat on the floor because he was drunk and missed the bedside commode (yes, this was also my patient while dealing with the one above, fun night).

DIY Surprise

Several years ago my wife wanted to renovate the half bath on the main floor.  I don't recall why it never happened but I decided today I would make it happen.  My "quick" DIY projects never turn out as quickly as I would like, I don't know why I thought today would be any different.

First, I needed my children to be away.  That would make it much easier to run to the store quickly and back if needed, minimal problems right?  My in-laws were planning on taking the kids away after Easter and I would pick them up Tuesday morning.  Perfect, no kids for an interruption.  That means I could literally wake up and work on it as long as I wanted until Wifey got home.  Nothing bad, plenty of uninterrupted hours.

Before I even left work I get a text message that my in-laws were ill and couldn't watch the kids.  I should have seen it as an omen.  

I decided to proceed, it's not difficult to make a quick change in sinks right?  I inform the kids and we start the day running to the store after breakfast (easily a good 2 hours later than I anticipated).  I also need to run many additional errands now that I have the kids.  Still, I can manage, right?

This sink has been here for almost 12 years, not bad but obviously lacking something.

So I return from the store with my stuff to swap the sink out.  Removing the faucet wasn't a problem. I then tried to remove it from the wall.  I assumed there was just some caulking around the exterior to help secure it.  Boy, I was wrong.

After well over 30 minutes chipping away at the glue I gave up and tried pulling it from the wall.

DOH!

Lot's of hoping and praying this can be covered without a patch job.

Well, I got it off the wall.  And on the plus side there is no hole through the wall.  Even better the new sink can cover it up without patching anything.  Time to move on to attaching the faucet.  I realize quickly I need something from the store again, load up the kids and lets go!

I get home with the tubing to attach the water to the faucet and now I open the faucet.  Crap! I grabbed the wrong one.  There was an identical name that required a much larger sink.  So much for my surprise.  At this point in the game it's too late to get it finished before the wife will get home.  I conceded and explained to her when she got (ruining the surprise).  At least it looks better.

Kept myself out of the doghouse with the cover up.

At this point I have attached everything except the drain.  After working on this project all afternoon (which should've taken me less than 4 hours) I'm finally at a stopping point.  I give up.  I should just realize that I'm not nearly as handy as I used to be and I should just ask for help.  I wasn't able to get to painting the storm door frame but I at least have everything for that.

The finished product. A much needed improvement from the original sink.    

I need to attach it to the wall but that's a job for another day.  Nobody is going to climb on this (that I know of).

All in all at least it was nice to try and surprise the wife.  A 3 week early anniversary present.  It'll be done soon.

Lazy Americans

I read an article today about how "lazy Americans" are hurting the economy and I gotta say I'm a little offended.

The article starts out with Tyler Cowen, an economist, pointing to the fact that Americans have not started nearly as many businesses were started in 2014 as in years past.  

Have you looked at the startup of a business venture?  Holy crap.  If you want to go with purchasing a franchise you need to have a large amount of liquid assets available, not to mention your net worth.

I looked into franchising a donut shop I think would succeed wonderfully on the East Coast.  Ever heard of Shipley's Donuts?  Oh my they are wonderful.  To franchise this company they require $200,000 liquid funds, $600,000 net worth, not including ability to purchase land in the area you are looking to build.

Most Americans I know don't have half of that even available.  Hell, even going a cheaper route would be the Taco Truck thing.  I've looked into it and it would still take almost $20,000 just to have a pull behind taco stand to set up.  That doesn't include purchasing recipes (I am no chef but I've found several recipes that are terrific, I would feel obligated to reach out to those whose recipes I would use and purchase them), advertising, food costs, utensils, plates, the list goes on.

I wouldn't consider myself a Lazy American by any means but I definitely won't be starting any businesses just for the simple fact that I'm trying to get out of debt, not dig myself deeper.  I work my ass off for what I have and so does my wife.  Besides, I like to travel and if I were to open a business I wouldn't be able to travel at all unless it becomes a successful business, and that could take several years.

And no way I'm going to be a landlord, been there, done that (at least assisted with my father's slum lordship and I'm not going down that road, especially with this economy).

He claims we Americans have created an insulated life for ourselves and our children and we're afraid of change.  Ok, I'll give him this point.  Change is scary for a lot of people.  I look to my own family and extended family and I see a lot of people going through the same motions because they are afraid of changing their norm.  They complain about their life on Facebook but do nothing to change it (and that's part of the reason I'm only on Facebook a few minutes a day, my eyes can only roll so many times before they start to hurt).  Even our little family has a routine that is difficult to change (we allow a lot of flexibility but for the most part it's the same, even down to the food).

Cowen also reports that we Americans aren't moving as often as we used to.  Is that a bad thing?  Living in one house usually means you're paying your mortgage down.  I've lived in the same house for almost 12 years.  We would like to make some major changes to it now that we can afford to do it but financially it doesn't make sense (to me, wifey might think differently at times).  Yes we could probably sell our house but it would be at a significant loss from when we purchased it (right before the crash when everything was inflated).  The only thing I would want to do is move closer to my wife's job so she doesn't have to commute so far but the houses in that area are a lot smaller and have no land (I need the land, I can't live so close to people, they bother me in large groups).

The article continues stating there is a great reset going to happen soon into Trump's presidency.  He claims it usually happens after a great trauma or war (considering we've bombed Syria and Afghanistan in the last few days, I'm leaning toward a war).

The last thing I'll point out from this article is the fact that he wants people to take more risks in their personal lives.  Once again, I'll give him this but only to an extent.  Making a change in your life to improve it for the better is always a good thing.  Taking a risk here can be extremely beneficial in many aspects.  But before just "flipping a coin" there should be a lot of thought and consideration that goes into the decision.  In addition to studying out the options one should pray for guidance (I will always encourage someone to reach out to Heavenly Father for guidance, as long as you believe he will help direct you).

After working in group homes and the parks and recreation department for over 10 years I realized I wasn't going to ever support a family.  I needed to make a change so I returned to school and became a nurse.  It wasn't cheap (combined debt for 2 bachelors degrees was well over $50k) but it has been significantly better for our lives.  Now at this point in my nursing career, as much as I would like to further my education it doesn't make sense.  I would have to return to school (not a bad thing) but that would take time away from my family for the 2-4 years.  It would incur more debt, probably close to $100k, and I won't even double my current annual income doing this.  Is it worthwhile?  Probably not (it hasn't stopped one director from trying to convince me to return).

Going back to the offended part, just because we're not taking as many risks to "help the economy", why does that make us lazy?  There are many more educated people out there than in the past, many of whom are living frugally so they can save for a nicer retirement.  Or vacation.  Our captivation on the internet is living vicariously through people who can afford to do things (at least for me).  Why is it wrong to live frugally, save money, so we can have that week or two extravagant vacation with a few other nice outings while we wait?  Once again, I work my ass off as does my wife, for what we have.

Family Oriented

In the ER we take care of people from every profession (obviously, we can't turn anyone away).  Most professions are typical (factory worker, truck driver, teller, food service, etc).  Occasionally we get the more "exotic" professionals.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Making conversation I asked where she worked.  She then divulged a lot of information that was rather interesting.  She used to work at "Gentlemen's Club A" before they lost their liquor license (selling alcoholic drinks to minors).  She then got a job at "Gentlemen's Club B".

Gentlemen's Club A is going to be reopening soon (at least that's what their sign says, I drive past it regularly) so I asked if she was going to return to Club A.  She informed me she would not because Club B was more family oriented.

So, that's not the reason I would ever expect out of an exotic dancer describing her place of employment.  "Hi Son, for your 12th birthday lets go to this family joint I heard about. You'll love it!"  Not exactly what I have in mind.

Her explanation isn't much better.  Club A is more cutthroat there between the workers.  They are likely to kick you while you're down (I pointed out the obvious, all the employees are competing for money).  Apparently Club B is more like a family (wrong choice of words, for all we know this area they could be family) and they are more friendly.

Interesting.  Anyone up for a family outing to Club B?